Fasting Starts ..

Alhamdulillah... every goes well tdy. I can still remember some years back, I got asthma attack during the first few days of fasting mth.. the wheezing started on the afternoons around 5pm onwards.. had no choice.. got to take puffs of ventolin.

In fact, last year no more attacks and i even ran in the afternoon before breaking my fast. I think exercising, running and eating right pays off. Today, no signs of breathlessness, no stress. Just tired and sleepy...... have been standing the whole day in the ward..

Tonight must try sleep without Kev.. He's out with his frens.. study marathon at Mac D. Will come back tmr morning. He sa'ur Mac Donalds while I still cannot decide what to cook later.. Just now we break-fast with Mee Rebus and Chicken Rice. I didn't eat much and i don't even feel hungry, no appetite actually.. all i want to do is sleep now..

some old photos...

I think i was 9 or 10 years old.. Sports day at the old Dover Statium. Guess the name of my primary school i went to?
Hint: Green colour uniform around Dover/Holland area.

End-of-Begining of Life

Today i feel so down and lost. Been wondering what's been happening to our community. Some pple jus find an easy way out to a solution, when others are finding it very difficult and stressful to get to where those pple are at.

When i heard and best still read cases where some women successfully gave birth to a healthy newborn at their late 30s or even at 40s, especially 1st child after trying for at least 10 years.. it brings on a smile and hope..

This morning and for the rest of this week, I'll be stationed in a "better" class ward-with "better-imaged" patients. They all looked so educated,holding good jobs and have supportive partners by their bedsides, but yet.. what a disappointment..:(

For whatever reason bro.."if u dare to do it,then be responsible" .. these words kept playing in my mind. But, i guess it all boils down to "face".

If i am a mother of a girl-teenager or in her early 20s, i might agree to "it". But if i have a son who did wrong to the girl, I have to face it and be responsible for it..i will not want the "girlfriend" to go through the pain for what my son has done. (But of cos, that depends on the girl's decision to keep or not to keep).

Wow! really tough leh.. but of cos i hope none of this would happen in my lifetime.

So..how..

I ever said that if i ever have a child i want it to be a "boy". if he is naughty, it's still ok.. cos he is a boy. boys can be naughty but not girls..
but when it comes to undesireable situation, i would rather have a girl cos' i would then have the "say" to my daughter's life.

Ah.. so difficult...

Special baby

When i was posted at TTSH last semester, my uniform and me myself smell of urine and shit after i finised my shift. But now, i got the newborn baby's smell and the mummy's smell...mostly i smell of blood all over, around me.. everything and everywhere i go.. i can smell blood.

1 week at KKH was hell... from day 1, though i was excited to go to this new place and after so long never wear nurse uniform which i had it alter 1-inch less on both sides, I was not really that excited or anxious to care for the woman, babies or children there.. not that i don't like them.. it's just that i don't know how to handle babies, they were like soft beancurd.. knowing me.. very rough, kang-kor and careless.. i am so afraid i would hurt them. Even the midwives can see that i am not natural in holding the babies to bottle-feeding them.. Whatmore bathing them.. i perspire bathing them.. the baby cried from the begining till the end. I am really not into baby stuff... and about the mummies... ah.. some are difficult to please. Mood swing i guess.. they don't look happy or excited at all before and after giving birth.. i wonder why..

I was at class "C" ward and i got to find out a lot of interesting cases. All I hope for is that these new mummies are able to give good meaningful life to their newborns, if u know what i mean. Not many relatives came to visit them, only their close friends.. They are so very young.. and the social workers need to intervene to see to their needs, if needed. So sad..

In the nursery, a lot of baby boys then girls, its like 10 boys : 1 girl.

There's this one baby boy whom i would love to bring home.. because he has big eyes, hairy from head to toe! and cries only when he's hungry.. This particular baby is so special to me and to some of us there.. "strict handwashing" required for this special baby.. and so he is parked away from the rest of the newborns. Felt comfortable handling him and his eyes tells me that he knows what he's doing. It's like as if we connect! He's almost 1 week old and his mum is not around to see him. Baby will only be discharged when he is cured with the "sex-related" infection and be deported to his mum's origin country. Each time i fed him, i kept telling him him to drink as much as he can while he's in here.. and he is indeed the champion drinker in the nursery.. he finishes the whole bottle -90mls. Yesterday was the last day i see him. I will be going to a different ward next week. I miss him already.. he is my idol.. so sad..