JP Morgan 2005

ha! did as bad as last yr. finished at 42mins. hAh!

As expected, it was crowded..but it was better than last yr in such a way that they so called like split the starting line, the fast runners went to the blue and the fun runners at the red route. I don't know whether there's any difference in the route.. anyway .. it was better planned than last year. And the same girl, Vivien is the champion!! She finished at 18 mins and the Gurkha guy at 20 or 21 min. Have not read the papers but this was what i heard when it was announced on stage. Cheers to them! And also, TLR finished at 22 or 25 mins, can't remember exactly.. and PHillip at 36mins. Excellent guys!!

I feel that i need to improve on my runnung, but i am not the hard core type and no discipline.. so why bother.. but i want to do it. I want to be better but i can never do it.. always the border line case. Not jus in running, .. in everything i do and in me, myself... sometimes i feel useless and most of the time, i worry. ( can't seemed to get that word "rejected" too... i'm getting that feeling,too).

I am sensitive towards others, i care less for myself.. but i can be selfish at times. I hate to be compared but I love to take up some challenges.. I adapt to changes very well but if anything or anyone dearest to me change.. it will take me a very long and difficult time to accept and adjust. I will need a lot, a lot and a whole lot of assurances... in short.. i need attention.

Right now, I should be worrying about tomorrow's exam.. and i hv not finished revising the remaing chapters. Blamed myself for poor planning.. Can't seemed to remember what was learnt..must be stupid or slow.. Afraid, I might not be able to complete the paper. It feels tough.. the subject is so heavy to digest just like the book! can't remember all the medical terms,in fact everything like don't know *sigh...* I can still remember that once I was full of zest even before the semester begins.. and now i am so weak and lost!

So sad... but ...Kevin is going to accompany me tonight.. while me study, he is going to watch his classic chinese fighting fighting vcds.. .. thank u..