Happy B'day, Shiken!

Today is Shiken's birthday. I wish her well and hope that all her wishes come true. Celebrated her b'day last Friday..cos Friday is the only free day for all of us to get together.. Got her a small piece of Cookies and Cream Cake for Gelare and a lunch treat at Magic Wok. We makan, talk and go (me out with kev for movie, Isabel got to go service and Viv had to go home sleep first, then prepare her steamboat for her housewarming ).. that was all we do.. well, of cos got take photo.. but we know that shiken enjoyed this day. Though we didn't get her anything , I made her a b'day card with all our photos in it and we signed our names and pasted some cute-cute stickers- thanks Viv for the stickers!

Eh.. Actually I have already given her an advance b'day present last April.. a 128MB thumb drive.. the day she bought her Acer laptop at Funan. Me now remember..

Lately.. went to see the fireworks like never before.. went to catch it at the Merlion Park first, then for the countdown with my inlaws at a secret park.. not many pple know where it is and so i don't want to say where.. then on N'day at Yishun .. and yesterday at the Esplanade.. a spectacular display! But the Best! was very long time ago about 10 yrs ago. The N'day celebration was held at Marina Promenade. Me and Kev stood right beneath the fireworks display.. and we could smell the smoke and could actually felt the ashes/dust falling from the sky. Simply cannot forget that moment.. it felt special..you know.. I think i might have the picture.. will try to find and scan..  

Also went to the carnival at the Marina South last Saturday, tried that wall climbing thingy but didn't reach the top..no strength and very difficult.. cannot stretch my legs in tight jeans. We have not been to Marina South for so very long time..and the place has changed. I can still remember those times when me and kev, when we were dating.. fly big kite over at the open field. Happy times!

It is not that i don't want to update my blog.. in fact i have it drafted and saved.. it just that by the time i want to post it, it was like too late and very old already.. so forget it la.. anyways..

School's the same..reach school as early as 8am ,spend some quite time alone to do some reading before lesson start at 9 or 10 am. This semester, I am cool.. i gave up being the class leader.. people find me a little bit quiet, less active... not the same CT..and .. some asked why i'm not as cheerful as before.. i jus smiled, i didn't realise that i have changed .. yes a bit quiet..maybe because i was tired..not enuf sleep.. got things in my mind.. maybe..

I have not been running a very long time too! The last long distance i ran was when i recce the running route for the MilkRun which i signed up but didn't turn up cos' i didn't feel well. Will pick up running again when i am ready.. anytime soon..to prepare for the Singapore Marathon. Meantime.. I need to eat more.. i need the energy.

Backdated happenings ..

Let me see... where did I stop or what have i missed?

Oh yeah... i did not go for the MILK Run eventhough i did went to recce the route a couple of days before the event. Since that Sunday's event, I have not been running.. not even the 5km Alive run at West Coast , but I was there. Have been sick for the past 2weeks or so.. blocked nose, coughing but thank god, no asthma.

On that Sunday morning, my grandaunt passed away. Not sure what she died from. She was diabetic. I did visit her at NUH the week before. She couldn't remember me at all. She jus had an amputation done up to left knees - gangrene. She was stable when we last saw her but was then, transfered to the ICU ward the following day.

And jus last Friday, went to Kev's 1st-grandma's funeral. Don't know the cause of death..

Last month, my neighbour's mum died from heart failure and other complications related to Diabetic Mellitus too. She had undergone amputation surgery up to her thigh and 2 days after that, she was gone. And almost a month later, the eldest son died from heart attack.

Better take good care of our health now or suffer so much pain later in life.. or maybe, better still to die young ..

die from what ah... me? Asthma attack... or complications related to respiratory or heart failure.. whatever it is .. right now.. Let's us all live life to the fullest!

World Harmony Run

How come there were no publicity on the World Harmony Run? It should make it known .. like the Racial Harmony Day.. well ... the public need not have to join in for the run but at least knew of the occasion, so when the elite runners ran pass them, while carrying the torch , they can applaud and give support... But not bad... got pple fr KL came down ah... thanks to TLR blog.. i think his name was Max , came down supposedly for Kylie's concert but was cancelled, read TLR's blog and registered for the run...

Kevin ran with me throughout the 1st 4.8km at MacRitchie. I started too fast , and found myself gasping for air in the middle of the run. I had difficulty in breathing, i think my sp 02 level could be lower then 95%. Slow down and took deep breaths. Didn't bring my inhaler that day.

Rested a while at the carpark, while at the meantime. the elite runner continued with rest of the 30km, stopping over at temples, salvation army, mosque and all... I wanted so much to participate, to run together with the elite but I know that I am not up to it.. but still i want to try.. so asked the official for the programme sheet.

We took the bus to Ceylon Sports Club and waited for the runners, and we joined them after that. We did not plan for this extended running .. cos we had plans in the afternoon. But since it's a once a yr thing, why not? Kevin was supportive but i know he was quite worried that i might not be able cope with the runners whose pace was so super duper fast, and mine was like... hai.. super duper silow to the max...

Anyway, i enjoyed the run. Ran short distances, as for the last 10 km, i didn't manage to, gave up at Nicoll Highway. Kevin continued.

Besided Max, got to know a few people. One of them, the only girl runner- 28yr old, Ms Shyuan. Also at MR, made friend with Ms Jelene.. a frequent MR runner.

I am just glad to have done this with Kevin, cos most of the running events are held on Sundays, and he won't be able to make it. Looking forward to next run with Kevin, the Olympic Run, 3.8km, and it will be held on Saturday, 2 July.

The following day, will be the Milk Run.

Then the following day- 4th July, start of new semester!

Father's Day cum Happy Birthday Bapak

Yesterday was Father's Day. After seeing Kevin off for work at the door, I went back to sleep. Wanted to catch up with some beauty sleep and rest after the World Harmony Run the day before... but before I could do that, my dad phoned me up and wanted me to get ready by noon.. going to Sembawang Satay Club to collect the 400 stick of satay he ordered last week.. Hai seh, bapak! I thought the collection time is 1330hr, why so early go? I really need this moment to sleep.... So, we were at the Sembawang Satay Club at 1220hr, obviously the satay were not ready.. as well as most of the stalls were not ready too , even the drink stall not ready.. when i ordered for coffee, they say "air belum masak".. apa saja ....

That's my 2nd brother with our dad. His birthday was on the 15th June, born in yr 1933. Almost every year, eversince he retired, he will invite all for makan-makan at his place. Can't remember what we ate for last year, but i remembered that I bought him a Swenson's ice-cream cake. But, it was all the grandchildren, plus me... who whack the whole cake! He was happy, alright.. and still is..

today i had malay mixed rice + coke for brunch.
malay-mixed rice + red bull for dinner @ 4.30pm.
then, i had macoroni chicken soup + soya bean drink @ 6.30pm.
now don't know what to eat... have jus smsed kev to buy bread.

trying my best to put on weight. let's see how much i weigh by this friday.

Saturday will go for the 4.8km run.. and that will shed some weight again
but not to worry, Sunday's my dad's birthday cum father's day celebrate.. so there's
food and i 'll fill up my tummy ! He told me that he had ordered 400 sticks of satay and fried rice from the satay club.
OMG.. bapak.. why so many sticks of satay! Our family - about less than 25 people.. how to finish all the satay!!!

Cancelled running plans yesterday because I got a terrible back ache the night before. I had this for quite sometime- think it's been 5yrs.. it happens only if i sneezed too hard or having a terrible asthmatic cough. It pulled my back and really hurts so bad- cannot bend down. The pain was quite unbearable on Saturday, when i sat down, i could feel my pelvic area palpitated.

but then, being me.. restless, i went to IKEA yesterday to get a clothes rod hanger, and dropped by Queensway Shopping Centre ... and got a Adidas fuel belt- ceh.. like macam bagus seh..cheap at $19, .. But need do some alteration to the belt.. very loose for my waist- I badly need to gain some more weight!!! I have no waist! no butt! A whole lot gonna be missing!

At max, i used to weigh at 56kg (before the running fever). Then i am happy at 53kg. Now.. i am at a miserable 50kg..

Last week i ordered Longtong and Nasi Campur for lunch! My friends said i am going crazy! Yes, i finished my food. Then i had snacks, mashed potato from 7-11, drink coke at times. But the thing is, i am too tired for dinner. Will cook dinner but eat very little.

This week, Mon to Wed, will be working fr 1pm to 9pm, and the rest of the week, 7am to 3pm. And that will be the end of the semester. Break for 2 weeks, then back to school and all the stress will comeback again.

Need to gain more weight

my nursing uniform looks like a maternity dress. all my pants are loose. seriously not looking good. Need to eat more!!

wrong of u to write this... very childish too.

Received an email kassy kassy ...
don't know who this fella is...
really upset me.. and certainly felt demoralised.


kassy kassy wrote :
This is an email to all of you in the jan cohort. I am disgusted at how some
of our classmates behave in class and during attachment etc. They can act as
though they are angels while scolding the patients behind their back. It's
such a disgusing act by them. Do you all think that its right of them to do
so. Just can't stand them.

Each tutoiral group from ND0405 to ND0407, there are people behaving like
that, some claim to be very nobel in their nursing attachment, while some
who have already reach a certain age yet still act inoncent and act cute,
while the young ones are like idiots, don't know why these people act cute,
act innoncent for what.

Some of you just like to kick up a big fuss for not getting A in project
work and blame each other for the mistakes etc, while some of you think that
you have been working a lot for the project and that the others are nott
doing much, can you all please be fair or not!!! This is a group work, don't
claim credit for yourself only. I am totally disgusted by the way some of
you all behave. Yucks!!!!!

Dear all, nursing is a profession that requires a heart that is willing to
care and sacrifice. If some of you all are doing it for the sake of money or
trying to show off your nobelness then i think you have come to to the wrong
profession. Please, dear classmates, i wish to see our class get united up
and don't be like what we did in semester where we ended up in unhappy
quarrel again. I hope that we can be friends again and no more sabotage
please.

Regards
Sad Nursing student

Dear Kassy,

I don't know why i bother to reply to u. U leave us with no name. U, anyhow say.. and we are clueless as to who are u and exactly at whom are u targeting.. But the way it was written upsetted me and many others too. I wonder if u ever had any working experience or ever worked with people before. What u saw is nothing at all, it happens everywhere. Very normal and common too. But people just choose to ignore as there's nothing which can be done to change one's attitude.

I hope u are not one of my many friends i know at nyp.

What were u thinking before u mass email? U think there's no consequences meh? We can talk and discuss.. or is it u don't have anyone to talk to?

It seemed that u are having problems with ur own group... hey,u are not the only one. there are a few of us still having problems with their own grp dynamics. On this matter, I feel for u cos I, myself did faced problems within my own sub-groups in the last semester, but we had sort things out and will try to work it out for the next sem. Have to put our differences aside. I hope u can sort things out with ur dear classmates.

Before joining the nursing course, alot of things need to be considered as I have to forgo half of my salary. It's not abt money at all.. and so far, when interviewed, i gathered that we joined nursing with different reasons like, to learn new skill, to help the helpless, to contribute to the healthcare industry, to use the skill for missionary work and to become a nursing volunteer and some wanted to go overseas with the skill... and none of it concern money. Why u think the otherwise..?

I think i am the sad one now...

tired and sleepy ... after running abt 10km this afternoon from yishun to woodlands mrt, then continue part 2- ran with kev colleaques at sembawang area. realised i can't run in a group- simply can't keep up with their pace. so i may not want to take part in the 30km World Harmony Run next Saturday.

Eyes really cannot tahan... closing already.. but i need to finish up with my case study -draft copy only but really man.. eyes cannot open.. BUT!!! I want to watch LOST on 5.. how ah.. Eyes closing - want to watch tv but then, need to do sch work - now cannot think.

See Kevin off this morning, went back to bed but can't sleep. Got case study to do but don't have much material to start with. Now i am wondering... what to do? it's almost 8.30am. I am thinking whether i should get ready and visit my parents at Chua Chu Kang- since i have lots of spare time. Leave CCK by 11.30am to report to TTSH by 1pm. Or should i should i go to school library to do some research on my case study? Let's just see how ...

Plan to run at MR again this Sunday, maybe will make it as my routine stuff every Sunday. There'll be a x-ctry event this coming sunday and TLR participating. So most likely, will see him there. Guess, there will be quite a crowd. Hmmmm... Or should i go to Marina Promenade/ Esplanade to run instead ? Take train to City Hall, and start from there, run to to the end of the park and back to the Esplanade- the JP Morgan route. Hmmm.. will think about it.

Oh yeah... I must try to eat more... i shrinking...

Next is, should i register for the World Harmony Run? 4.8km or try the 30km... if cannot tahan, stop along the way..? Have no confidence running in a group of elite runners.. feel very small like that..

Every morning....

Got out of bed to see kevin off to work. Kisses on cheeks, cos have not brust teeth yet- and huggs at the doorstep.. "goodbye sayang.." - before leaving.. Looked and smiled at him, and gosh..he looked so good in his dark blue jersey, jeans and his hair is just perfect, plus the glasses.. very cool. He looked different this morning.. Kept telling him that he's looking "handsome leh today" .. his replies as usual, " I am what.." - ceh! Next time, don't want compliment already.. wait head swell! But no-no.. must say.. i must be the 1st to say.. before anyone can. Eh, can see u smiled and blushed a bit leh... happy ah..

Been listening to F.I.R. and got some of the lyrics in pinyin.. best!

Besides movies, i look forward to joining Kev's and his friends for karaoke! Yah.. they all sing chinese song, mostly.. and i am very ok with that.. that's why i need to have the lyrics in pinyin- so that i can sing too! It seems that i want to be part of anything and everything he does and have.. hehehe.. if not then, how? What about me? Anywayz-I think i got the whole collection of the dvd + cd + vcd for FIR's " I wanna fly". They came in different sort of interesting packages. One thing abt chinese cds.. they are all very worth buying.. stylo-milo packed in a box and got a lot of thing to read one.. but too bad i can't read and understand.. hehehe.

monday blues.. forever

never-liked monday.. bet i am not the only one. If it rains on early monday morning, everything goes slow-mo.. and sure to be late, and common case, see doc for mc. Can never be early on mondays -anyway- be it,rain or shine. another thing is if don't get enuf sleep, or had an unsettled misunderstanding the night before.. really add on to the moody monday blues.. don't like to talk too much on mondays.. but in this line of work- nursing- got no choice.

today, 1st day at orthopedic/surgical ward. to be attached for this 2 weeks. got to submit 1 case study. have identified 1 case of patient diagnosed of peptic ulcer disease (PUD). Will start on it soon. Got to submit by next mid-week, i guess.

Got to know a 1st yr 3-yr dip student, a ceylonese. her father is a gurkha. she hates the place where she is staying- all her life,she grew up there. There's curfew for everyone. the gate will close at 11pm. there's no privacy as there are numbers of cctv fixed. Very unfair i feel.


Saw a banner at MR last sunday - WORLD HARMONY RUN, and tempted to take part. Then, TLR, forwarded the link for info. he will be running 30km. i feel like participating. and quess what?!!! it's on a SATURDAY- which means, Kevin can take part too. now.. how to apply ah?

Reached MR at 0740hr, and hoped to see someone familiar to run with- but don't have. Well, it's ok .. shouldn't complaint- stay home if want to complaint. Anywayz, it felt good to be alone at times- allows me to reflect. But , no point having to think too much about whatever is in this head.. Hai..... actually don't know what to make out of it.... lots of questions going through my mind.. jus don't understand why or what i have done..

No matter what-
i have been there,
i have seen it
there's simply no way and no where to hide..
will continue to do my part..
everything will be alright.. :)

caring for others

The Sister assigned each of us to a cubical ward.. and mine was fr bed 31 to 35.. but because at times, there's nothing much going on at my cubical, i help around in other cubical.

Me, being me.. cannot be still for a sec.. i did a lot of things.. things which i don't even do to my own parents.

The first few days was boring .. don't know the pple around me and not knowing how to care for patient. Simply because, i see most of the staff are not client-friendly.. and there's no smile on their faces. All they do is to take patients' parameters (TPR and bp) hourly, 4 hrly or 6hrly, besides giving medication.. and knowing their diet, diagnosis and what not..Yes.. all these are vital but they all missed out on client-care.

They hardly communicate with the clients (patients). The clients are of diff age range but mostly are old and impaired in physical mobility. They are reluctant to move because of pain. But the staff just don't care. They positioned and move the patient so rough when changing diapers or what not.. it must be very painful cos some of the older ones would yell out " ai si liao" ( want to die already ah). They simply don't feel for these patients. All they care is to get the job done. All these were done behind those screened curtains. The way they handle weak and old, fat or thin patients, was like "elder abuse".

About hygiene.. due to time constraints and lack of manpower, they went bed to bed changing diapers in the morning but did not make an effort to carry out bed bath oral care . Everyday the same thing.. The staff jus carry out their routine chores .. and they are like robots.They got no feelings for their patients . Well maybe, they have other things to do.. with so little time in their hands.

And paper work ..

because of all these...the patients are neglected.

All by myself ...

Went for walk at MacRitchie this morning. Was there at almost 9am. Decided to walk the 10km route and since there are lots of people, I went the TreeTop Walk. Oh yes it was not fun having to walk alone. And I can't imagine how come I could do 5 rounds last yr. Come to think of it ... I must be Crazy! Don't know if I want to do it again this year.

Ran a bit to test my new NIKE shoe.. shiok! Next week will come again to run instead. Hope to start as early at 7 am so that i can finish before the sun is up.

Left MR at 11am.. go eat and home ... slept the whole afternoon. Didn't do anything much, infact didn't do anything at all. So damn lazy to do the laundry. Should be ironing my uniform right now, see what I'm doing now!

Better sleep... have to leave home at 6am. Finish work at 3pm... after that, don't know what to do... again...

Maybe, I'll sort the bio past year papers for my buddy. She has to retake the paper this Thursday. Intend to accompany her for remedial this Wednesday. Have to complete the case study this week.. *sigh* guessed i have jus planned my week. Doing nothing interesting..... can't wait for sch break. Hopefully, got things to do on that 2weeks of break fr 17th June to 3rd July..

me young-old

Yep.. I have just turned 34 yesterday but don't feel like one. Thanks to kev, who has been pampering me... i am enjoying it of cos...But why can't I behave like a thirty-something? Be like any other mature women who talk,walk and dress like a woman ,gentle and lady-like... be less childish and think maturely.. Even the 20-something may be more womanly and me...Whatmore, been married for almost 9yrs .. still behaves like... ahhh don't know how to describe.. whatever la... have to make a diff..

What a relief!

It's raining heavily.. shiok to go back to sleep but today is a happy day for me... most sent sms greetings a day in advance. So touched...They thought it was 24th. It's today...! Thank you!!

And I got another advance present, a NIKE trail shoe, Air Axis (men's). Were at SportsLink last Sunday. Kevin was browsing at the men's sports shoes. Had no intention to buy , just look-see, look-see..,wanted another trail shoe cos, my NB too tight, and my Reebok worned out. But he grumbled that I got too many already, and what i have can still tahan. But then, it was he who took the shoe out from the rack, it was too small for him so, I tried it on and it looked good on me, really... very good. So I thought, if it's the women's design sure lagi nicer!! So I tried that on too.. but the men's one lagi better sehhh, very comfortable, the women's too narrow and tight, even though it's 1 size bigger... Sooo, we see see, check check.. I test walk, jump, run on the men's shoe.. then, suddenly he said, buy la.... For me, advance b'day present! Eh..really, I asked. Another one after what he already got for me way in advance an O2.. I thought that was it already.. man! Yeah..!!!! Was jumping for joy in my heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Have somemore or not ah, sayang.. Must celebrate 7 days 7 nights leh.. it's our very own tradition, ok, start today! Aiyah.. if can.. me finish at 9pm, i tried to swop duty but they don't allow.. b'day not valid reason to give the Director for request to swop. :( That added to my gloomy day, yesterday.

Besides that, been feeling uneasy at heart. Worry about the exam results. Looking glum.. simply no mood for anything..the whole day from morning till Kevin came to join me and my good buddies, Isabel and Shiken, at Delifrance, Novena Sq for supper to celebrate my so-called happy day. A bit cheerful. My face can really tell if i am gloomy, sad or not me,they start to question. But when i am angry and pissed, they stay away..Must smile and be cheerful at all times eventhough I feel otherwise. Tough huh. Maybe what i can do is to display it here using "smiley"... :) :( :'( .... whatever!

This morning at 6:56am, Isabel smsed me to tell me Results out. There was an earlier sms at 5:34am I missed, another classmate smsed the same too. So excited.. I logged in to NYP.. Me only interested in Bio result. Oh please...need to pass, No supp paper please.... i was hoping an praying..

Phew! I managed to pull through. Waah.. this time really jumped for joy! Happy!!!Called Kevin first thing! Thank God. Thanks to my buddies for studying with me, thanks to Kevin for being so understanding. Thanks to all the lecturers and tutors.

Me Very Happy and I luv u too!!! :)

Star Wars Episode III

Went to watch Star Wars movie yesterday with Kev and friends. The movie started on the dot, we were late, as usual. Well actually we were there earlier than punctual, bought this and that, waited for this and that... cost time..

Of all the Star Wars movies.. i like this one the best! It's about my fav, Lord Vader!

When i was young, my younger brother and I had a collection of StarWars figurines and we used to fight for it. If he chose the good ones like Luke Skywalker, then I'd be Darth Vader.. must be of the opposite. Well of cos' no matter what, I played with Princess Leia.. others which was mine was: Chewbacca, Stormtrooper, Darth Vader, C3P0.. but whatever it was, my bro was on the good side and me, the bad one... simply because in the family, i was the active and rebellious one so .. i was with the dark side ..and my bro, he's the angel. We were totally opposite. But now that we are grown ups, we are ok.. same level..never fight, but active i still am, never change, this i know.

Big Walk 2005

Half hearted to go for this year's Big Walk because I had to walk alone. Kevin not going as he had to finish up with his assignments. Stayed up , on and off, to keep him company thoughout the night. Woke up at 6.15am and found him on the living room floor with his notes on his chest, sleeping. He must have fallen asleep while reading. Didn't want to wake him up, so I went back to bed, thinking whether to go for the Big Walk or not, alone? Took a while for me to decide... i didn't want to go back to sleep, but he's sleeping.. so i guessed he would be awake by noon.. or most likely i'd be home and he would still be sleeping.. ok set! I quickly got ready and went for it. Left at 645am, kevin woke up to shift to the bedroom, said goodbye and off i went...

Flag off at 7.30am. Arrived late at 7.50am. Weather was so hot and i did not apply sun block. Now I'm dark not tanned. I can never get tanned, I get dark .. brown not red and it's going to stay that way for a very long time. Shouldn't have worn my Solomon shoe. It kept slipping off. Saw the first few competitive walkers racing opposite the road. They walked like as if they were jogging.. low impact, with style.. gelek here and gelek there ..amazing! Must learn. But funny seh..

Ok,lah.. enjoyed the walk eventhough I did it alone this time round.. Every year, Kev and me, never failed to go.. we walked for fun one.. cut in somewhere half way.. cos we were always late. Past years, met some old friends, so I hoped today I would bump onto someone i know.. but don't have leh.. oh well, kinda get used to doing things alone these days.

Anyway, I finished at 9.20am.

Collected the goodie bag. The band entertainment was better than last year's but the games play last year was much better, i feel. Waited for the lucky draw.. then home. Like boring like that!