u think we care..

attended that compulsory talk ... "xxx care"
now they realised that we are doing all the unnessessary work.. 90%
while 10% are real work .. valued services..

whatever..

One new AN come in, another AN leaving!
4 new SN just joined us, don't know how many will be leaving next!!

how i wish i am in one of those leaving...
especially in times like this .. audit season.
hate to pretend to like the system
so i told them so today.
i hate this "t-care" that we are doing
it's like useless cos pple jus do as how they like,
not lucky if get caught.
so when audit come.. we are told to do it properly and
accordingly but it may not be the truth..
whatever...so,
u need data .. we give u..
u want me to predict, i predict
why question me so much..?
but it's ok, i answered even though i had to strain my voice..
if i remained quiet and uninterested, u'll say i don't know my work..
i give u answers and argue a bit
then, u think i am agitated by ur questionaires?

actually.. i am not.. i am frustrated, with myself, my voice!
i have been saving my voice.. lost my voice a few days back..
i don't have that much energy to speak up.. just to answer to yr questions.
and it was 12noon, i have not had my break, i'm thirsty.. and my throat were dry,
can't u pple hear me coughing, till i want to puke!!!

the t-care...
if what i predicted, may not materialize..
then.. we just actualize accordingly..
what's the problem with that?
anyway, who is caring for the patient?
how much do u know about my patient?
i clean him 3x a day, u don't believe..

u come and work la..!!!
see whether u got time to enter those details in ur t-care, in the first place!

feels like crying..

spoke to a colleague today..
and we can sense that we are equally sad
for some reason or no reason at all..

on night, tonight

don't know which side i'll be taking, male or female.
who will be working with me..
how many patients,
any DILs or any PR problems..

what ever it is.. still have to work.
it doesnt mean the patients sleep at night
no, not most nights.
don't know why they wake up a more than a couple
of time to pee or even to BO in the middle of the night!
especially in the cold weather these days... i think
i will we expecting lots of call bells for urinals and bedpans.

miss a few pple in the ward.
hopefully everyone is doing fine and
the work load not too heavy..

hopefully, kev comes home early, that is, if he intend to skip class..
so that ..i can driveeeeeeeeee to work......yeahhoo....

been driving for the past 2 days..
and i am enjoying it..

no cure for sneezing

been sneezing too much.. till my back hurts.
seen the doctor on my off day yesterday and got 2 days mc to rest.
sneeze.. allergy to what?
had Todd next to me.. cuddled him cos he also needed some warmth
from the cold weather.. and i didn't sneeze ..
it must be the cold cold weather...
left the house, started to sneeze,
in the car also sneeze.. while driving.. sneeze,
in the coffeeshop also sneeze..

it's so tiring .. sneezing non-stop.
tearry eyes and
non-stop runny nose...
got my front t-shirt all wet from wiping off the mucus hehehe..
lazy to use the tissue paper..

the pple at home not well..
only the cats are fit.

why?

another 300 bucks gone to waste! that $$$ could have brought me to somewhere!!!
we, obviously, didn't make it..
we are going to give it a rest..
will re-take the paper again ... say.. 2 to 3 mths' time..
Save 100bucks/mth ..
make sure take leave for the paper,
L.O.C must be at super alert!
and must have the appetite to talk on speaking test day.

whatever it is, the next round must die2 pass!!!!!!

everyday go to work do the same thing.
getting sick of documentation.. especially.
another fren expressed the same thing while doing the beds..

to me , the ward is becoming like a childcare centre.
bathe and clean them, feed and change them, make them comfortable
at the end of the day.. call their family members to bring them home.

then we have the principal and vice principal.
and one of them loves to nag..nag.. nag..when no one listening
then got the HOD.. who checks on our work..
and these big shot people.. only know how to nag,
command, demand and shoot!
they can get sick but we can't
they can go for leave as and when they like..
and don't care.

tmr my off day.. don't know what to do.

i hate tues,wed, thursday....

working night shift on his school nights.
It's like 2 days and 3 nights, set as "away.."
So quiet at home.
So very quiet..
Just can't wait for my 3rd night to be over..
tonight, my second night.
tomorrow's last night.
will return on my sleep day, this friday morning ..
see u soon..

little missy-s of mine...

That's miss maybelle in the centre and miss shikin with the funny face!

they are the reasons i am still surviving in ward, though we don't really get to work on the same shift.

maybelle, she's independent and smart always in the process of beautifying herself.. she got her seasons of looks.. coloured hair, hair extensions, etc...
she never fail to surprise us or ..more like shock us!


then there's little miss shikin. she is so adorable. u jus wanna pinch her! every part of her is so pinch-able. she still have that baby face..so adorable and so love by her bf. And she's so very in love too, every second of her heartbeat.

another person that adds on the fun to our friendship is Idaaaaaaaaaaa.

Idaaaaaaaaaa, she is one brave little woman. she 's a good planner, too good, too precise and too neat. she's a nokia freak.
she's like a little secretary. no worries, she'll get things done in a jiff.
And she loves reading malay romance novels.. and she shares this passion with another little missy whom we adore.. miss nurima aka little mummy.


We will be expecting precious little princess in May.. and OMG.. month of May baby! Like me, like my best friend, YF!!!
Craziness never stops...
Little Mummy and me.. we work together quite closely cos we usually get to work on same shifts and ..somehow our childish behaviour are quite similar . And she is praying hard that her Precious will not be as hyper-active as me. hahaah!
Eh.. i don't have picure of us together, will update when available.

does my malay sound weird?

this is my colleague, S, who loves Harry Potter.
to me, she is one smart girl.
helpful,
humble
adorable.
speaks better malay than me.


today, a family member thought that she is siti, simply because she speaks better malay.
malay speaking = malay name.

the family confronted me to confirm my name. and i said yes, Siti is my name.
the next question: am i local?
i replied : yes, pure malay sg. why?
they thought that i am a thai and my malay sounded weird/funny.

i wanted to laugh. at the back of my mind... i was thinking of Idaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Passion Run 2008

This morning's weather was great. The after the rain effect, cooling
and breeze. Ran to lower seletar reservoir and back home.
took time to relax at the fishing jetty.. fresh air and beautiful sky.

Yesterday, signed up for my first run for this year.
Early bird price $18 for 10 or 15km. Going for 10km.
Signed up for Kevin for the same distance too.

Will be held on Sunday, 8th June at East Coast Park.

Saw this brochure. Run Paradise!
Laguna Phuket International Marathon, 15 June..
Shall we go, kev ?

countdown to.. 10days, after 3pm

the test results we sat for, last weekend.
we have no confidence in passing.
we concluded that if we need to re-take,
it will have to wait.. maybe 2 to 3 mths later.
we can't afford to spend another 300 bucks.

Helloween Live!!

Last nite, best nite ever, but not enough!!!

They started out with Halloween..

You got to be there to feel it, man..
really got "magic in the air" from start to the end!!!
best concert so far for this year!
Played mostly from the older albums..
very few or little from their new one, Gambling with the Devil.
Though the crowd was unexpectedly not a huge turnout, they were.. which include me and kev...
WE were fantastic, singing, screaming, handbanging,body surfing..simply gerek!
and they, Helloween, were superb awesome!!
Best performance with great audience participation.
Everything and Everyone was GREAT!!!! But NOT ENOUGH!!!!!
And they ended off with I Want Out!

And that's what i feel about my life, right now! My work life, that is!

my ugly toe

really.. been lazy to pick up that running shoe.. no motivation.
things going slow-mo for myself, well apart from having fun...
for myself.. what do i want to achieve this yr..
well of cos.. i want to pass that paper and get myself out..
day in and day out, no feeling for work..
jus waiting for that day to come..
financial backing.. me and yf lacking .. if only we had that, we long gone liao.
hoping to leave during JCI time.,.. hehehe i think our sisters in green will scream at us!!
but then, u think we give a damn!

ok.. that's our main aim for the year.

now .. about everyday things.. what to do with me?
with kevin set as "Away" 3 out of 7 days.., got to load him with lots of vitamins and supplements so that he will not fall sick easily.
those 3 nites of classes, i wish to work on pm shift.
he's always been busy with work, day and nite.. phone call non-stop.. as times.. interrupts our sleep.. and our eca..
and on top of that, on every other days...
he has to entertain me! me and my friends, family and cats!
my husband wanted by everyone.

think, will go back to running again.. which i have not been doing for some time.
will start after i recover from this sore throat,
i lost my voice on the 3rd day of CNY.. been eating and talking too much..
Hah! more reason to start running... i feel heavy ..

but.. i also got problem with my toe nail. my right 4th toe-nail is coming off. i wanted to pull it out, but painful. Underneath that nail, there's a fresh new nail, soft and feels like flesh. So i decided to leave the outer older nail as it is, and let it come off naturally.
then the left 2nd super long toe of mine, blue black! no feeling. waiting for it to rot! haha.. i know underneath that black toe nail, lies a new nail. this happens all the time. each time i ran for some event, each toe takes its turn to turn blue black. Actually it was bleeding from within, and the nail did not get it's nutrients from the toe.. and it's called hematoma, not necrotic. i kinda get used to it. so ugly. as kev puts it as " fugly" heheehe

aiyah.. i made up my mind liao.. no matter wat
running it shall be.. starting.... i don't know when..

manhattan nd games

.. so happens that, these cheeky yet sweet and lovely girls were on morning shift and i was off on that day. it was a friday and i can't remember the date too. we planned for an evening of games.. but before that...

it was like 3 fridays back, i think. earlier that day, me and 2 others, evelyn and fellie went to check out jusco in jb.. well of cos, uncle faris drove us there. after sending these 2 lovely girls home somewhere near the hospital, we fetched the others, and suprised that derek came along. the 4 of us squeezed our butts on the back seats, while derek comfortably took the front passenger seat, and off we went to somewhere near boat quay.

we went to these seafood restuarant jus above the clark quay's station... oh my.. i am losing my memory.. i can't remember the name of that mall.... !!!! oh my god... signs of getting old, surely.. someone pls help me.

and so .. it was like a pig's out day.. eat and be merry. think derek enjoyed this get-together most. it was like a reunion dinner.

after that we, we went to Mind's Cafe, the main event of the day.

chunming's farewell

can't remember when this was.. it was sometime late January 08.. only know that it was a sunday early morning,left the house about 4am, fetched ida who leaves near to our place and dearest shikin from CCK.. reached the budget terminal almost 5am to bid farewell to chunming.

the rest of the girls had spent the night with her somewhere at geylang area.. and it seemed that they had quite an experience from that one night at hotel88 :)

wish chunming all the best and i hope to keep in touch with her, but the prob is that i don't have any of her contacts. but nevermind.. she will always be in my heart. she is one of the best coaches in ward.. always feel comfortable working with her. thanks for being my friend too.

did not see her off exactly as we had to leave for morning shift work ... me and shikin. kev send ida home and then straight to work.

"thanks for getting up super early, drove us to budget terminal and took all these beautiful pictures. we love u, uncle faris", says ida, shikin and me. heheehee..

Island Getaway part 2 : 15012008

and so, we went to Pulau Ubin.. with kevin. did not get to cover the whole island, as we had to leave at 2pm as our parking coupon expired at that time. plus, yf had to be home early to get some rest before reporting for night duty.
smsed some other friends to join us to ubin again to cover the balance of the island. and when it that be? well.. hmmm.. got to wait till everyone of us have the same off day!

results..

supposed to get the test results today, but the website doesn't seemed to be working. no emails too. so, jus have to wait for the results in my letter-box. whatever the result be, it doesn't matter anymore. pass or fail.. i still have to sit for similar but slightly tougher paper next month.

i really want this .. i do not want to waste much time... age is catching up..
thankful to have one good friend who is doing this with me...
glad to have met her.. never knew that we'd be best friends... (i think we are best friends now, are we?)

and knowing kev is and has always been by my side, loving me and caring for me.. given me all the attention i always wanted.. all the time..all these while..
i really want to make him happy .. very happy +++ ...
i have to make this happen.. just for us.
got to build back what i have destroyed..
the love, the happiness, the sunshine, the joy, the laughters...
God, pls help me achieve this.

i must say that i am still very sad, i regret,
there wouldn't be a second chance.. but u given me
.. the tears have not run dry.. and will never run dry for me..
it will never end..
and if i can't make things as good as before
as fun as before
as beautiful as before
.. then i see the end of me..

Island Getaway: Part 1

Drove up to Changi Village one sunday morning with none other than my one and only girlfriend, who loves the sun, the sea and the sand, Yf.

The day before that, we sat for the "test" , but only to find out, sadly that we had registered and therefore sat for the wrong paper! It was the most expensive mistake we made. How can we be so careless?!!! How to "make it" like this?? There was nothing we can do now, but only to pay $$$ again for the next correct test, and of course, enjoy the rest of our off days which we had planned for.

After the written test, we joined kev at sento.

then, the following day, went to changi village. actually, we wanted to go to Pulau Ubin but decide to wait for kev, to go with.

then, the following that day, after we sat for our oral/speech test, we went to sento again. Reached sento and it rained so heavily. Again nothing much we can do about it, so we played under the rain. We ignored the Red Flag, and got whistled away by the lifeguards, to stay out of the water.

And the next morning , Kev's day off and the 3 of us went for a short island getaway.. to Pulau Ubin, of course. Part 2 for pictures taken from Yf's digicam. We were not able to cover the whole island on that day, cos yf had to work nite that day. So, part 3 .. anytime soon.

So basically, nothing much was done over that weekend but just fun! fun! fun! And I love it!!! Well... except for having that thought of paying $$$ to re-do the test!

Sunrise at Desaru

The morning was cool and breezy, with the high waves crashing to its golden sandy beach. We were at the beach as early as 0630hrs.. took some photos by the beach while waiting for the sun to come out. The sun, eventually made its appearance from behind the clouds and gave that beautiful picture- perfect sun rays instead. Awesome.

Think we were the only guests at that resort. We had the beach all to ourselves.

After preparing the food stuff for the evening bbq, we quickly got changed and eager to hit the beach. Before crossing over a small wooden bridge, stood a red flag with a signboard stating that the beach is closed as it is not safe for swimming. But we chose to ignore it.

We held hands and ran straight towards the sea, and were ready to be swept away by the strong and high waves back to the shore.. Had great fun playing with great company of friends who loves the sun, the sea, and nature.

With the help of GPS, think we can safely visit Desaru again in the near future. And maybe, the next time, Kev will allow me to drive on Malaysia road.

nOise in my tummy..

blogging while my junoir sent one of my patient for an MRI brain/MRA, and while the other 2 either playing games or glued to you tube. not everytime i get to relax and do this.. most of the time, i would struggle with IVs around this time.. but not tonight. Tonight i can breathe eventhough, there's 4 new cases to attend to, still waiting for the 1 to be admitted.

Can't open my eyes .. so dead tired today. The 2 episodes of vomiting earlier this afternoon, is making me feel so weak and drowsy. Looking pale when stepped into the ward, noticed by some here. And if only i have not answered that phone call, maybe i would not be kept awake and having this abdominal discomfort and vomitted. Arrgh,.. i can hear my tummy juices churning...

Lots of food in the ward.. ordered pizza.. and a colleague brought some donuts, but just couldn't make myself enjoy eating it. Oh... there goes the sound in my tummy again! Am I hungry or what? But i am afraid to eat, afraid that i might jus throw up again.

Since the ward's a little less hectic, i think i better take a short nap. Been standing, in this utility room using the phlebo's laptop updating my long time never updated blog. Better get out before i faint in here..

Actually, my colleague, Shikin asking.. on my updates ,the previous night. Well girl, here it is.

Well actually, there's so much going on in my life.. all the past events, good and bad, happy and sad.. memories of it all, etched in my head.. everyday when i am alone, on a bus or mrt journey to/from work/home, for instance, i think about my life, my wrong doings, my ugly behaviour, what more can i do to improve on myself, thinking of some of the things i should focus on, people i love and must care for, ...and so on, which have it all reflected and probably blogged in my head instead :)