X'mas Day -UltraMarathon 2005

Though it was raining quite heavily, it didn't stop me from doing the UltraMarathon once again. I finished in 10hr 1min 43sec for completing the total distance of 52.5km. Last year I took almost close to 12 hrs. I intended to do 6 laps but then, decided to stop at 5 as i could not carry on any further. Plus, my mind was not at ease, kept thinking of my nephew.

I called him the night before, if he was interested to participate. He was so excited and even got his 2-friends and a cousin to join in.

Luqman did his 1st 2laps too fast and on the 3rd, I managed to catch up with him at the 6km mark and we ended up walking back to the starting point. He was complaining of pain, and had a slight headache. Had advised him earlier to take his time, but he was too ambitious to finish the race before 5pm. He overworked himself and couldn't carry on with the 5th. As for the rest of the kids, they left after running the 1st round.

After completing the 4th lap, his dad took him to NUH. He was being observed for that day and was put on IV drip and was given an injection for his pain. Doctor said it due was heat exhaustion and he was obviously dehyrated.

I was partly to be blamed for his condition. Knowing that he did not train for this event and ignoring his pain when he expressed it again while we were taking our break. I insisted that he should just continue by walking the final 2 laps since he still got lots of time.

I should have listened to him because he was already listening to his body. And yet,i left him to walk alone while i continued with mine. Now i feel so bad. This is the problem when you think u have full confidence in thatthe other person, when u actually do not know or choose to ignore what was happening to him.. his mental and health status, his limitations.

I should have known better. I was taught to acknowledge pain. Pain is the 5th vital signs which should not be ignored. Really .. I am to be blamed for all this. Spoken to his dad, but not to his mum yet, who is my sis-in-law. Surely, she is mad at me. While she was there, she saw her son in pain and wanted him to stop, but we refused to listen to her.. "she knows her son better..." I have not spoken to her since...

I only got to know that he went to NUH when i called his dad the next morning.. why didn't they call me that same day/night to tell me about their son?

Think i better pick up that phone, talk to his mum right now.. or latest by tonight.

poor service

My grandpa-in law had an op for peptic ulcer. Hospitalised for about 8days, left the hospital with an open wound, about 30cm lengthwise, 2cm gap-, the HD ward staff had the STO done earlier than it was schduled. And they had arranged for the Home Nursing Foundation Missy to attend to his wound. Secondly, he was discharged with bad excoration on his sacral areas. Thirdly, don't understand why he was discharged early while he was on feeds.

Went back to the ward, unable to get the doctor in charge, i discussed my concerns, indirectly complaining, with the Sister and the staff nurse, and these was what i got ..they nicely explained that they knew about the wound and was quite surprised why it was taken out earlier, as for the excoration, they blamed the HD nursing staff. In the end, they said all i have to do is clean the wound and it will be ok and for the excoration, to make sure to do turning on regular intervals...Oh, pls... tell me something i don't know! and knowing that, that was not enough, they gave me a Comfeel powder to heal the sacral areas..to make me feel happy...Ceh!

sometimes i feel that they do not bother with student nurses. Have they forgotten that i can also raise a complaint.. and give the ward some recovery work ...hmmm,

and even at the pharmacy, i was in my uniform and the pharmacist was so unfriendly and so unhelpful when i require assistance..

Overall, I feel that, if i want to complaint, its should be directed to the doctors first, as they did not even call to talk to any of us post operatively and upon discharge. They did not give simple information as to his estimated hospital stay and condition, whether stable or not, about his wound, etc. Not knowing much about his condition, we were all not ready for his early discharge.

Bullied by a 7-yr old

It was like hell in ward X6. Can't wait to end this posting. Though they can be cute and adorable and pitiful.. i don't know how to care for the children in the peadiatrics medical ward. They are as young in theire weeks old to up to 16yrs old.

In my ward cubicle, only one little 7yr old boy whom i couldn't handle.. he bullied me.. took my hand , pulled me here and there.. turned me around and twisted my hand ..so very hard. It's like he doesn't know what pain is all about! I wanted to scream and scold him on the spot..all i did was smile and try talk nicely to him cos there were parents and caregivers all over the ward! I can't stand him.. i hope he will be discharge anytime this week, best still, today.. i hate this kid! I would rather work in a childcare than in here. It's helllll for the rest of my 10 day in this ward! Now i appreciate Tan Tock Seng Hospital!

There's this 2-yr old boy- with big big eyes.. he is the best! Easy kid, smart and independent.. unfortunately, i heard from other caregivers that, his parents were never or seldom seen in the ward. Young parents i guess. So sad.. why is it that it is always the case.. i hope his parents can see that they have a wonderful baby boy and to appreciate what they've got.

He's admitted for asthma. I was not familiar on how to adminster his medication.. he took the inhaler and spacer from my hands, and with his gestures, he demonstrated on how to use it. He caught the attention of the other student nurses around me.. and we were amazed! Among other things, he can feed himself, play by himself, sleep when told to do so.. and seemed to understand whatever we're saying to him. "Gimme this kid.. i take"

2 weeks Peadiatrics Posting at KK Hospital

Ok.. i am not looking forward to this posting at all.. anything got to do with KK Hospital, I am totally not interested. Why? Cos, it involves mums-to-be, newborns and children. To some extent , it gives me some pressure.

I will be asked of the same old questions again and again. It's like Chinese New Year.. when relatives asked why we don't have children or when or aren't we going to have any. Oooo.. u know having one is a must... well of cos i would like to have one... why ask me? wonder if the men got questioned too.. ? InFertililty or not ... I think such questions should not be asked.. they must stop questioning childless couple.. it can be very sensitive to some, for some may not have the answer for it.. or some wants it to be confidential... or some just don't like to talk about it .. i just feel that it's quite insensitive of those who asked.

I hope I won't breakdown when i see sad cases.. I hope i don't need to help any social workers to translate in malay.. i will get affected by their family affairs and child's condition. I hope i don't get too emotionally attached to any of the children so that i can leave the ward without having to think too much about their illness and how they gonna to cope...

Going to take a short nap now.. my shift starts at 1pm, ends at 9pm.

I wish I could skip this posting... it's gonna be a long day..

Home Nursing experience

Last week's 3 days attachment with Home Nursing was fun. Travelling by foot from Newton to St.Micheals to Towner to Whompoa.. phew.. i can't exactly remember the places.. it was all totally new to me.. places where i never been to. We then, understood why we need to bring umbrella. I am a little bit tanned now.

Together with me were my classmate, Poh Yen and Group 7's, Yee Hong. We tagged with 2 staff nurses.. SN Yeo and SN Crystal. They were fantastic. We were given chance to practice insert Naso-gastric tube, urinary catherization and wound cleaning. Most of the patients are diabetic with cavity wound on their foot and some already gone to gangrene stage, the wounds were big and some smells too..one lady do not want to amputate.. she said she would rather die. Most of the older patients have bed sores.
oh... i do not want to grow old suffer like this..

We can tell how well these patients are taken care of, by their maids or family members by assessing the way they maintain their home. It does not mean that living in a condo, the best care is given to the sick elderly..
I observed that the ones living in 2/3 room flat, takes pride in caring for their loved ones eventhough they have limited means of living.. Nothing else matters to the caregivers or people at home.. what matters most are caring for the sick elderly.. they really go all out- they placed the hospital bed in the living room and that took up a half of the place.. and not to exclude, the things they need by the bedside.. salute to them all. This is what i call, patient-care centred.

In this posting,we got an emergency call to attend to a male patient whose penis bleed, traumatised by the no of times,where the other incontinence-trained nurse, had tried to insert the urinary catheter into him. So we went even though, our staff nurse is not trained to do that. That trained nurse had used up 3 catheter set and we do not carry one at all. So, we had to go to another patient's house to borrow one.

By the time we were there, it stopped bleeding and his maid took good care of his penis. The man was about 60 plus and uncommunicative. His private part was so clean and we really had to say to the maid what a good job she has done for cleaning up the mess. Amazingly the SN finished the job, with confidence ...and the 3 of us just look at it.. I thought we need to hold the penis for about a few minutes for the lignocant to take effect. I was like counting away... but in about 20 secs, the SN inserted the 16F tube into the meatus. When we left the place, three of us couldn't hide our expression, though embarrassed, but finally all of us got to say this " the maid cleaned the head of the penis till it shines! " We laughed, continued with our next mission- to insert an NG tube, the patient pulled it out when we had just inserted it that same morning. The maid did not restraint him... we were so tired, the weather was so hot.. but we are happy with what had been accomplished at the end of the day.

I feel that 3 days of home nursing posting is not enough. Home nursing care gave us confident and it was an eye opener- to be able to be see how people, rich or poor, care for the sick at home.

SHS Attachment

We were at the School of Health Service for 2 days from 8-9th Nov. The best part about this attachment was having the chance to work closely with some of the nursing students from other groups.. and getting to know some better.






Didn't exactly enjoy the attachment for one reason or because of someone who actually pissed me off. One particular person boiled me up. Can never and will never want to understand him. He's such a mummy boy who has no guts to come up to me to tell me his concerns, but instead told the whole whole...

I suggested that he should just be one of the debaters since we did discussed about the topic and i was confident that he could do it.. for a man, jus stand up and do it, no big deal.. he can talk .. and he talks loud and big too.. so that we don't have to re-ballot to find another speaker.. but of cos if he don't want to.. he can jus tell me.. but why must broadcast! Not happy, say lah.. brother!

The following day.. i gave him no face at all, infront of others, clarified the issue that i did not arrow him ( though.. i know others may jus want to tekan him), explained to him the reason why i chose him.. but then, i gave him a disgusted look, really couldn't stand him...told him that i have over-estimated him and he is such a coward, i must say! And guess what.. i heard that he was going to complaint to the SHS facilitators.. uhhh what a joke! Eh..Mr Missy .. who cares la..! '

I didn't want to be mean to u but u pissed me off too! I have heard some unacceptable yet funny working attitude of yours and the way your classmates treated u, but yet I have always been nice to u . I guess u must be very suprised now that you know how mean i can actually be. After that incident, U will never get to see the nice side me... I will treat u like a child instead, since u acted like one. I don't care or mind if u hate me.. sometimes i feel like i want to shake u up and make u realise the things that u do, did and done were so uncalled for.. and to realised that there are a whole bunch of people who couldn't stand the sight of u. I thought i could be one of ur few friends whom u can approach to if u need a fren to talk but, too bad.. now i can't stand the sight of u too. Aiyoh.. why do i bother too much about all this...!!! Maybe i pity u..

U know some pple say that why be mean to u.. the whole world already against u.. don't be like that la.. but u know, who cares ! Actually we are doing u good .. better to tekan u now, rather than u kena from the sisters and senior nurses in the ward.. but anyhow.. anyway.. who cares!

All i have to say to u : "u are no gentleman, damn coward, sissy missy.. sorry, but that's u!"

2005 Hari Raya Puasa

This Hari Raya marked the last day of my exams. A tough, tiring month.. having to fast and posted to hospitals. But the toughest was having to study for exams at Mac Donalds.. so challenging! But most of the time ..i felt sleepy.. Well it's all over now and back to normal.. Posting not over yet till 16 Dec followed by 2 weeks break before the New Year starts. Since the ultra marathon is sometime during my hols, i may consider taking part again.. want to make it to 6 laps this time round.. so better start training. And as for the Singapore Marathon.. hmmmm i'm not going. Maybe will go meet and support the SG runners and M'sian runners.. take photos!

Fasting Starts ..

Alhamdulillah... every goes well tdy. I can still remember some years back, I got asthma attack during the first few days of fasting mth.. the wheezing started on the afternoons around 5pm onwards.. had no choice.. got to take puffs of ventolin.

In fact, last year no more attacks and i even ran in the afternoon before breaking my fast. I think exercising, running and eating right pays off. Today, no signs of breathlessness, no stress. Just tired and sleepy...... have been standing the whole day in the ward..

Tonight must try sleep without Kev.. He's out with his frens.. study marathon at Mac D. Will come back tmr morning. He sa'ur Mac Donalds while I still cannot decide what to cook later.. Just now we break-fast with Mee Rebus and Chicken Rice. I didn't eat much and i don't even feel hungry, no appetite actually.. all i want to do is sleep now..

some old photos...

I think i was 9 or 10 years old.. Sports day at the old Dover Statium. Guess the name of my primary school i went to?
Hint: Green colour uniform around Dover/Holland area.

End-of-Begining of Life

Today i feel so down and lost. Been wondering what's been happening to our community. Some pple jus find an easy way out to a solution, when others are finding it very difficult and stressful to get to where those pple are at.

When i heard and best still read cases where some women successfully gave birth to a healthy newborn at their late 30s or even at 40s, especially 1st child after trying for at least 10 years.. it brings on a smile and hope..

This morning and for the rest of this week, I'll be stationed in a "better" class ward-with "better-imaged" patients. They all looked so educated,holding good jobs and have supportive partners by their bedsides, but yet.. what a disappointment..:(

For whatever reason bro.."if u dare to do it,then be responsible" .. these words kept playing in my mind. But, i guess it all boils down to "face".

If i am a mother of a girl-teenager or in her early 20s, i might agree to "it". But if i have a son who did wrong to the girl, I have to face it and be responsible for it..i will not want the "girlfriend" to go through the pain for what my son has done. (But of cos, that depends on the girl's decision to keep or not to keep).

Wow! really tough leh.. but of cos i hope none of this would happen in my lifetime.

So..how..

I ever said that if i ever have a child i want it to be a "boy". if he is naughty, it's still ok.. cos he is a boy. boys can be naughty but not girls..
but when it comes to undesireable situation, i would rather have a girl cos' i would then have the "say" to my daughter's life.

Ah.. so difficult...

Special baby

When i was posted at TTSH last semester, my uniform and me myself smell of urine and shit after i finised my shift. But now, i got the newborn baby's smell and the mummy's smell...mostly i smell of blood all over, around me.. everything and everywhere i go.. i can smell blood.

1 week at KKH was hell... from day 1, though i was excited to go to this new place and after so long never wear nurse uniform which i had it alter 1-inch less on both sides, I was not really that excited or anxious to care for the woman, babies or children there.. not that i don't like them.. it's just that i don't know how to handle babies, they were like soft beancurd.. knowing me.. very rough, kang-kor and careless.. i am so afraid i would hurt them. Even the midwives can see that i am not natural in holding the babies to bottle-feeding them.. Whatmore bathing them.. i perspire bathing them.. the baby cried from the begining till the end. I am really not into baby stuff... and about the mummies... ah.. some are difficult to please. Mood swing i guess.. they don't look happy or excited at all before and after giving birth.. i wonder why..

I was at class "C" ward and i got to find out a lot of interesting cases. All I hope for is that these new mummies are able to give good meaningful life to their newborns, if u know what i mean. Not many relatives came to visit them, only their close friends.. They are so very young.. and the social workers need to intervene to see to their needs, if needed. So sad..

In the nursery, a lot of baby boys then girls, its like 10 boys : 1 girl.

There's this one baby boy whom i would love to bring home.. because he has big eyes, hairy from head to toe! and cries only when he's hungry.. This particular baby is so special to me and to some of us there.. "strict handwashing" required for this special baby.. and so he is parked away from the rest of the newborns. Felt comfortable handling him and his eyes tells me that he knows what he's doing. It's like as if we connect! He's almost 1 week old and his mum is not around to see him. Baby will only be discharged when he is cured with the "sex-related" infection and be deported to his mum's origin country. Each time i fed him, i kept telling him him to drink as much as he can while he's in here.. and he is indeed the champion drinker in the nursery.. he finishes the whole bottle -90mls. Yesterday was the last day i see him. I will be going to a different ward next week. I miss him already.. he is my idol.. so sad..

i think Dr Yong is very linient with the Prac Test. not difficult at all. but cannot guarantee can score well cos' i got confused with the naming some of the skeletal parts, which i knew but couldn't seemed to focus.. so disappointed..

wilson's group's presentation on Empty Nest Syndrome - Mid-Adulthood, was really great! totally refreshing... thumbs up!

Next week will be my group's presentation on elderly and then followed by a debate on end-of-life.. feeling a bit stress now.. got less than 5 days to do..my group have not meet up for discussion and have not done much research... die la.. cannot make it!

Last Sunday's 12km SBR ...

decided to participate, so signed up late Saturday nite - non competative cat.

but it was my worst run ever... since it non-competative.. i didn't bother abt the time..but that was ok.. what made matters worst was that my "goodfriend" decide to come along while i was running half way... my leg suddenly felt so weak and cannot move on... so it took me so long to reach the finishing line.. it was like 1/2 marathon... cheh...of all the time.. it must come on that very day...

come to think of it.. that's not the first time too. last year's mizuno's run also the same.. infact.. in many occasions, when we plan to go sentosa or set to travel overseas.. my goodfren never fail to join me..

tomorrow's bio prac test and theory on the following day.. stress...
after next week will be posted to either NUH or KK for peds ward..

sad lehhhh..

wrote something late last night but it's all gone.. cos my laptop batt went flat.. hahaha..

can't sleep so decided to read up on some pediatric topics which i thought could be tested... something close to our hearts like asthma, diabetes or any one of the heart disorder. And most of us thought that those disorders that were already presented in class,would be the least likely to be tested.. but we were caught off guard! It was a simple question to a genitourinary disease- Nephrotic Syndrome- 15marks. Cannot recall anything on this except for its pathophysiology and medication. cheh.... habis sure flop.. sad lehhhh..

Got to move on...to BioScience ..

Zanna's baby.. Baby

Spent almost a day at Zanna's house last weekend to help her fix the wireless stuff.. It was Kev who did installing and stuff.. while me and Zanna.. do what women always do..."chit chat"..

Happy Birthday.. Sayang..

Another week passed and I don't know what have I been doing.. Besides revising for my coming pharmacology and clinical test next week. Have yet to prepare for the ethical and law in nursing presentation this coming Thursday. Got so much to do, too little time. However, thank god that my grp members agreed to split the work and everyone take one tutorial presentation. What a relieve!

At one point, I was not really happy with my grps' working style or say, attitude.. well maybe they also don't like mine.. when I reflect back, maybe I was the only one who has been too sensitive and been the odd one out. I might have caused so much inconvenience to all.. and now at this point, i think i blame everything to myself.

Yes.. at times, i can be very so insensitive and would do or say things on purpose, jus to wake them up and want them to have a good look who and what's around them. Not everyone is as fortunate or clever or what not. But then, who am I to them? But that was in the past...

This semester, I see the different side of every single one of my classmates. I can't tell if i have changed too but i see some changes in all of them and that's wonderful. The class is livelier than before.

As for my subgrp, oh.. think we are numb to one anothers' attitude. Previously, we really can't get along and one of us, quit and joined other subgrp. Somehow, this semester, after the last grp discussion..,it feels so much better .. don't know why.. maybe because everyone is showing interest and seriously putting in effort ,appreciating each other's work. I believe that we can do better and outshine the rest.. all we need now is to strengthen our grp dynamics which we have lost it from day one. And i really want that to happen.

No problem sleeping for the past 2 days. Been feeling so tired after the long day in school. Got a lot of things going on in my mind . Got a lot of reading to do to help with my weekly tutorials and presentations. Tests in 2 weeks time and the written assignment due in 3 weeks'. The coming weeks or so will be very tough for me and as well as for Kev too. His exams starts this late September, i think. As for me, after all the test , will be going for hospital attachment - end Sept for 6weeks, followed by 1 week study break to prepare for the 2nd Sem exam sometime before or during the Hari Raya week. Ahhh head ache.. better start planning my stuff now..

The next thing on my mind is fitness. I have not register for the Singapore Marathon. I want to take part. Don't say training.. i have not been taking the running issue seriously at all. I am definitely, not fit for this. But this morning, I saw a quite a mature male student with a 2004 Marathon T-shirt on. So i was thinking.. if he really ran for it, so can I. But on the other hand, i have something else to consider..running = losing weight. Kev wouldn't like it.

While i was sleeping...

Evernight before turning in, i take 1 or 2 puffs of seretide.. Usually 1 puff is enough to make me sleep comfortably. But lately, my nights have been interrupted, woke up gasping for air. It feels something like when u are holding ur breath in the water till u can't take it, & u have to quickly swim up for air. And, I have to coughout only then, I can breathe again. Breathing is very difficult. Shallow and breathing thro' my mouth. It also feels like as if I have stopped breathing while sleeping. Have I forgotten to breathe while sleeping?

This episodes of breathlessness i have been experiencing it for quite sometime but i dismissed the symptoms as I thought it was jus a typical asthmatic symptoms. Since it has been happening quite frequent now, i am a little bit afaid. See if it recur again tonight.

Or is it because i am tired, too active in the day.. and causes my musles to relax? Nope.. not really.. I have not been that hyperactive as compared to last semester.

Yesterday, I complained to my friends that I felt a deep pain at the lower part of my sternum. And today I felt a sharp pain on the right side of my chest. I do not have breathing problems in school,though i felt a bit sleepy because of the interrupted sleep.

How ah... ? Intended to take my blood pressure this afternoon during my clinical lab session but got no chance to do.

Decided to find out something about sleeping disorders and came across "Sleep Apnea". It says:

"In sleep apnea, your breathing stops or gets very shallow while you are sleeping. Each pause typically lasts 10-20 seconds or more. These pauses can occur 20 to 30 times or more an hour.

The most common type of sleep apnea is obstructive sleep apnea. During sleep, enough air cannot flow into your lungs through your mouth and nose even though you try to breathe. When this happens, the amount of oxygen in your blood may drop. Normal breaths then start again with a loud snort or choking sound.

Your sleep is not restful because:
1-These brief episodes of increased airway resistance (and breathing pauses) occur many times
2-You may have many brief drops in your oxygen levels of the blood.
3-You move out of deep sleep and into light sleep several times during the night, resulting in poor sleep quality.

When your sleep is upset throughout the night, you can be very sleepy during the day. "

Oh yes.. i am always complaining of sleepiness while at school..
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"#1: People with sleep apnea often have loud snoring. However, not everyone who snores has sleep apnea. Some people with sleep apnea don't know they snore.

#2: Sleep apnea happens more often in people who are overweight, but even thin people can have it.

#3: Most people don't know they have sleep apnea. They don't know that they are having problems breathing while they are sleeping.
A family member and/or bed partner may notice the signs of sleep apnea first. "
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- #1: I do not snore
- #2: i am not overweight and i am not thin either.. infact, i have gain a bit of weight.
- #3: No complains from Kev.
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some of the many other features associated with Sleep Apnea are:
Associated features may include:

morning headaches
a dry mouth upon awakening
high blood pressure
irritability
change in personality
depression
heartburn
frequent nocturnal urination (nocturia)
nocturnal snorting, gasping, choking (may wake self up)

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Meantime now.. I just have to monitor my nites daily ..but sometime after waking up the next morning, i cannot remember what happened the night before ~
.
Good nite..

Happy B'day, Shiken!

Today is Shiken's birthday. I wish her well and hope that all her wishes come true. Celebrated her b'day last Friday..cos Friday is the only free day for all of us to get together.. Got her a small piece of Cookies and Cream Cake for Gelare and a lunch treat at Magic Wok. We makan, talk and go (me out with kev for movie, Isabel got to go service and Viv had to go home sleep first, then prepare her steamboat for her housewarming ).. that was all we do.. well, of cos got take photo.. but we know that shiken enjoyed this day. Though we didn't get her anything , I made her a b'day card with all our photos in it and we signed our names and pasted some cute-cute stickers- thanks Viv for the stickers!

Eh.. Actually I have already given her an advance b'day present last April.. a 128MB thumb drive.. the day she bought her Acer laptop at Funan. Me now remember..

Lately.. went to see the fireworks like never before.. went to catch it at the Merlion Park first, then for the countdown with my inlaws at a secret park.. not many pple know where it is and so i don't want to say where.. then on N'day at Yishun .. and yesterday at the Esplanade.. a spectacular display! But the Best! was very long time ago about 10 yrs ago. The N'day celebration was held at Marina Promenade. Me and Kev stood right beneath the fireworks display.. and we could smell the smoke and could actually felt the ashes/dust falling from the sky. Simply cannot forget that moment.. it felt special..you know.. I think i might have the picture.. will try to find and scan..  

Also went to the carnival at the Marina South last Saturday, tried that wall climbing thingy but didn't reach the top..no strength and very difficult.. cannot stretch my legs in tight jeans. We have not been to Marina South for so very long time..and the place has changed. I can still remember those times when me and kev, when we were dating.. fly big kite over at the open field. Happy times!

It is not that i don't want to update my blog.. in fact i have it drafted and saved.. it just that by the time i want to post it, it was like too late and very old already.. so forget it la.. anyways..

School's the same..reach school as early as 8am ,spend some quite time alone to do some reading before lesson start at 9 or 10 am. This semester, I am cool.. i gave up being the class leader.. people find me a little bit quiet, less active... not the same CT..and .. some asked why i'm not as cheerful as before.. i jus smiled, i didn't realise that i have changed .. yes a bit quiet..maybe because i was tired..not enuf sleep.. got things in my mind.. maybe..

I have not been running a very long time too! The last long distance i ran was when i recce the running route for the MilkRun which i signed up but didn't turn up cos' i didn't feel well. Will pick up running again when i am ready.. anytime soon..to prepare for the Singapore Marathon. Meantime.. I need to eat more.. i need the energy.

Backdated happenings ..

Let me see... where did I stop or what have i missed?

Oh yeah... i did not go for the MILK Run eventhough i did went to recce the route a couple of days before the event. Since that Sunday's event, I have not been running.. not even the 5km Alive run at West Coast , but I was there. Have been sick for the past 2weeks or so.. blocked nose, coughing but thank god, no asthma.

On that Sunday morning, my grandaunt passed away. Not sure what she died from. She was diabetic. I did visit her at NUH the week before. She couldn't remember me at all. She jus had an amputation done up to left knees - gangrene. She was stable when we last saw her but was then, transfered to the ICU ward the following day.

And jus last Friday, went to Kev's 1st-grandma's funeral. Don't know the cause of death..

Last month, my neighbour's mum died from heart failure and other complications related to Diabetic Mellitus too. She had undergone amputation surgery up to her thigh and 2 days after that, she was gone. And almost a month later, the eldest son died from heart attack.

Better take good care of our health now or suffer so much pain later in life.. or maybe, better still to die young ..

die from what ah... me? Asthma attack... or complications related to respiratory or heart failure.. whatever it is .. right now.. Let's us all live life to the fullest!

World Harmony Run

How come there were no publicity on the World Harmony Run? It should make it known .. like the Racial Harmony Day.. well ... the public need not have to join in for the run but at least knew of the occasion, so when the elite runners ran pass them, while carrying the torch , they can applaud and give support... But not bad... got pple fr KL came down ah... thanks to TLR blog.. i think his name was Max , came down supposedly for Kylie's concert but was cancelled, read TLR's blog and registered for the run...

Kevin ran with me throughout the 1st 4.8km at MacRitchie. I started too fast , and found myself gasping for air in the middle of the run. I had difficulty in breathing, i think my sp 02 level could be lower then 95%. Slow down and took deep breaths. Didn't bring my inhaler that day.

Rested a while at the carpark, while at the meantime. the elite runner continued with rest of the 30km, stopping over at temples, salvation army, mosque and all... I wanted so much to participate, to run together with the elite but I know that I am not up to it.. but still i want to try.. so asked the official for the programme sheet.

We took the bus to Ceylon Sports Club and waited for the runners, and we joined them after that. We did not plan for this extended running .. cos we had plans in the afternoon. But since it's a once a yr thing, why not? Kevin was supportive but i know he was quite worried that i might not be able cope with the runners whose pace was so super duper fast, and mine was like... hai.. super duper silow to the max...

Anyway, i enjoyed the run. Ran short distances, as for the last 10 km, i didn't manage to, gave up at Nicoll Highway. Kevin continued.

Besided Max, got to know a few people. One of them, the only girl runner- 28yr old, Ms Shyuan. Also at MR, made friend with Ms Jelene.. a frequent MR runner.

I am just glad to have done this with Kevin, cos most of the running events are held on Sundays, and he won't be able to make it. Looking forward to next run with Kevin, the Olympic Run, 3.8km, and it will be held on Saturday, 2 July.

The following day, will be the Milk Run.

Then the following day- 4th July, start of new semester!

Father's Day cum Happy Birthday Bapak

Yesterday was Father's Day. After seeing Kevin off for work at the door, I went back to sleep. Wanted to catch up with some beauty sleep and rest after the World Harmony Run the day before... but before I could do that, my dad phoned me up and wanted me to get ready by noon.. going to Sembawang Satay Club to collect the 400 stick of satay he ordered last week.. Hai seh, bapak! I thought the collection time is 1330hr, why so early go? I really need this moment to sleep.... So, we were at the Sembawang Satay Club at 1220hr, obviously the satay were not ready.. as well as most of the stalls were not ready too , even the drink stall not ready.. when i ordered for coffee, they say "air belum masak".. apa saja ....

That's my 2nd brother with our dad. His birthday was on the 15th June, born in yr 1933. Almost every year, eversince he retired, he will invite all for makan-makan at his place. Can't remember what we ate for last year, but i remembered that I bought him a Swenson's ice-cream cake. But, it was all the grandchildren, plus me... who whack the whole cake! He was happy, alright.. and still is..

today i had malay mixed rice + coke for brunch.
malay-mixed rice + red bull for dinner @ 4.30pm.
then, i had macoroni chicken soup + soya bean drink @ 6.30pm.
now don't know what to eat... have jus smsed kev to buy bread.

trying my best to put on weight. let's see how much i weigh by this friday.

Saturday will go for the 4.8km run.. and that will shed some weight again
but not to worry, Sunday's my dad's birthday cum father's day celebrate.. so there's
food and i 'll fill up my tummy ! He told me that he had ordered 400 sticks of satay and fried rice from the satay club.
OMG.. bapak.. why so many sticks of satay! Our family - about less than 25 people.. how to finish all the satay!!!

Cancelled running plans yesterday because I got a terrible back ache the night before. I had this for quite sometime- think it's been 5yrs.. it happens only if i sneezed too hard or having a terrible asthmatic cough. It pulled my back and really hurts so bad- cannot bend down. The pain was quite unbearable on Saturday, when i sat down, i could feel my pelvic area palpitated.

but then, being me.. restless, i went to IKEA yesterday to get a clothes rod hanger, and dropped by Queensway Shopping Centre ... and got a Adidas fuel belt- ceh.. like macam bagus seh..cheap at $19, .. But need do some alteration to the belt.. very loose for my waist- I badly need to gain some more weight!!! I have no waist! no butt! A whole lot gonna be missing!

At max, i used to weigh at 56kg (before the running fever). Then i am happy at 53kg. Now.. i am at a miserable 50kg..

Last week i ordered Longtong and Nasi Campur for lunch! My friends said i am going crazy! Yes, i finished my food. Then i had snacks, mashed potato from 7-11, drink coke at times. But the thing is, i am too tired for dinner. Will cook dinner but eat very little.

This week, Mon to Wed, will be working fr 1pm to 9pm, and the rest of the week, 7am to 3pm. And that will be the end of the semester. Break for 2 weeks, then back to school and all the stress will comeback again.

Need to gain more weight

my nursing uniform looks like a maternity dress. all my pants are loose. seriously not looking good. Need to eat more!!

wrong of u to write this... very childish too.

Received an email kassy kassy ...
don't know who this fella is...
really upset me.. and certainly felt demoralised.


kassy kassy wrote :
This is an email to all of you in the jan cohort. I am disgusted at how some
of our classmates behave in class and during attachment etc. They can act as
though they are angels while scolding the patients behind their back. It's
such a disgusing act by them. Do you all think that its right of them to do
so. Just can't stand them.

Each tutoiral group from ND0405 to ND0407, there are people behaving like
that, some claim to be very nobel in their nursing attachment, while some
who have already reach a certain age yet still act inoncent and act cute,
while the young ones are like idiots, don't know why these people act cute,
act innoncent for what.

Some of you just like to kick up a big fuss for not getting A in project
work and blame each other for the mistakes etc, while some of you think that
you have been working a lot for the project and that the others are nott
doing much, can you all please be fair or not!!! This is a group work, don't
claim credit for yourself only. I am totally disgusted by the way some of
you all behave. Yucks!!!!!

Dear all, nursing is a profession that requires a heart that is willing to
care and sacrifice. If some of you all are doing it for the sake of money or
trying to show off your nobelness then i think you have come to to the wrong
profession. Please, dear classmates, i wish to see our class get united up
and don't be like what we did in semester where we ended up in unhappy
quarrel again. I hope that we can be friends again and no more sabotage
please.

Regards
Sad Nursing student

Dear Kassy,

I don't know why i bother to reply to u. U leave us with no name. U, anyhow say.. and we are clueless as to who are u and exactly at whom are u targeting.. But the way it was written upsetted me and many others too. I wonder if u ever had any working experience or ever worked with people before. What u saw is nothing at all, it happens everywhere. Very normal and common too. But people just choose to ignore as there's nothing which can be done to change one's attitude.

I hope u are not one of my many friends i know at nyp.

What were u thinking before u mass email? U think there's no consequences meh? We can talk and discuss.. or is it u don't have anyone to talk to?

It seemed that u are having problems with ur own group... hey,u are not the only one. there are a few of us still having problems with their own grp dynamics. On this matter, I feel for u cos I, myself did faced problems within my own sub-groups in the last semester, but we had sort things out and will try to work it out for the next sem. Have to put our differences aside. I hope u can sort things out with ur dear classmates.

Before joining the nursing course, alot of things need to be considered as I have to forgo half of my salary. It's not abt money at all.. and so far, when interviewed, i gathered that we joined nursing with different reasons like, to learn new skill, to help the helpless, to contribute to the healthcare industry, to use the skill for missionary work and to become a nursing volunteer and some wanted to go overseas with the skill... and none of it concern money. Why u think the otherwise..?

I think i am the sad one now...

tired and sleepy ... after running abt 10km this afternoon from yishun to woodlands mrt, then continue part 2- ran with kev colleaques at sembawang area. realised i can't run in a group- simply can't keep up with their pace. so i may not want to take part in the 30km World Harmony Run next Saturday.

Eyes really cannot tahan... closing already.. but i need to finish up with my case study -draft copy only but really man.. eyes cannot open.. BUT!!! I want to watch LOST on 5.. how ah.. Eyes closing - want to watch tv but then, need to do sch work - now cannot think.

See Kevin off this morning, went back to bed but can't sleep. Got case study to do but don't have much material to start with. Now i am wondering... what to do? it's almost 8.30am. I am thinking whether i should get ready and visit my parents at Chua Chu Kang- since i have lots of spare time. Leave CCK by 11.30am to report to TTSH by 1pm. Or should i should i go to school library to do some research on my case study? Let's just see how ...

Plan to run at MR again this Sunday, maybe will make it as my routine stuff every Sunday. There'll be a x-ctry event this coming sunday and TLR participating. So most likely, will see him there. Guess, there will be quite a crowd. Hmmmm... Or should i go to Marina Promenade/ Esplanade to run instead ? Take train to City Hall, and start from there, run to to the end of the park and back to the Esplanade- the JP Morgan route. Hmmm.. will think about it.

Oh yeah... I must try to eat more... i shrinking...

Next is, should i register for the World Harmony Run? 4.8km or try the 30km... if cannot tahan, stop along the way..? Have no confidence running in a group of elite runners.. feel very small like that..

Every morning....

Got out of bed to see kevin off to work. Kisses on cheeks, cos have not brust teeth yet- and huggs at the doorstep.. "goodbye sayang.." - before leaving.. Looked and smiled at him, and gosh..he looked so good in his dark blue jersey, jeans and his hair is just perfect, plus the glasses.. very cool. He looked different this morning.. Kept telling him that he's looking "handsome leh today" .. his replies as usual, " I am what.." - ceh! Next time, don't want compliment already.. wait head swell! But no-no.. must say.. i must be the 1st to say.. before anyone can. Eh, can see u smiled and blushed a bit leh... happy ah..

Been listening to F.I.R. and got some of the lyrics in pinyin.. best!

Besides movies, i look forward to joining Kev's and his friends for karaoke! Yah.. they all sing chinese song, mostly.. and i am very ok with that.. that's why i need to have the lyrics in pinyin- so that i can sing too! It seems that i want to be part of anything and everything he does and have.. hehehe.. if not then, how? What about me? Anywayz-I think i got the whole collection of the dvd + cd + vcd for FIR's " I wanna fly". They came in different sort of interesting packages. One thing abt chinese cds.. they are all very worth buying.. stylo-milo packed in a box and got a lot of thing to read one.. but too bad i can't read and understand.. hehehe.

monday blues.. forever

never-liked monday.. bet i am not the only one. If it rains on early monday morning, everything goes slow-mo.. and sure to be late, and common case, see doc for mc. Can never be early on mondays -anyway- be it,rain or shine. another thing is if don't get enuf sleep, or had an unsettled misunderstanding the night before.. really add on to the moody monday blues.. don't like to talk too much on mondays.. but in this line of work- nursing- got no choice.

today, 1st day at orthopedic/surgical ward. to be attached for this 2 weeks. got to submit 1 case study. have identified 1 case of patient diagnosed of peptic ulcer disease (PUD). Will start on it soon. Got to submit by next mid-week, i guess.

Got to know a 1st yr 3-yr dip student, a ceylonese. her father is a gurkha. she hates the place where she is staying- all her life,she grew up there. There's curfew for everyone. the gate will close at 11pm. there's no privacy as there are numbers of cctv fixed. Very unfair i feel.


Saw a banner at MR last sunday - WORLD HARMONY RUN, and tempted to take part. Then, TLR, forwarded the link for info. he will be running 30km. i feel like participating. and quess what?!!! it's on a SATURDAY- which means, Kevin can take part too. now.. how to apply ah?

Reached MR at 0740hr, and hoped to see someone familiar to run with- but don't have. Well, it's ok .. shouldn't complaint- stay home if want to complaint. Anywayz, it felt good to be alone at times- allows me to reflect. But , no point having to think too much about whatever is in this head.. Hai..... actually don't know what to make out of it.... lots of questions going through my mind.. jus don't understand why or what i have done..

No matter what-
i have been there,
i have seen it
there's simply no way and no where to hide..
will continue to do my part..
everything will be alright.. :)

caring for others

The Sister assigned each of us to a cubical ward.. and mine was fr bed 31 to 35.. but because at times, there's nothing much going on at my cubical, i help around in other cubical.

Me, being me.. cannot be still for a sec.. i did a lot of things.. things which i don't even do to my own parents.

The first few days was boring .. don't know the pple around me and not knowing how to care for patient. Simply because, i see most of the staff are not client-friendly.. and there's no smile on their faces. All they do is to take patients' parameters (TPR and bp) hourly, 4 hrly or 6hrly, besides giving medication.. and knowing their diet, diagnosis and what not..Yes.. all these are vital but they all missed out on client-care.

They hardly communicate with the clients (patients). The clients are of diff age range but mostly are old and impaired in physical mobility. They are reluctant to move because of pain. But the staff just don't care. They positioned and move the patient so rough when changing diapers or what not.. it must be very painful cos some of the older ones would yell out " ai si liao" ( want to die already ah). They simply don't feel for these patients. All they care is to get the job done. All these were done behind those screened curtains. The way they handle weak and old, fat or thin patients, was like "elder abuse".

About hygiene.. due to time constraints and lack of manpower, they went bed to bed changing diapers in the morning but did not make an effort to carry out bed bath oral care . Everyday the same thing.. The staff jus carry out their routine chores .. and they are like robots.They got no feelings for their patients . Well maybe, they have other things to do.. with so little time in their hands.

And paper work ..

because of all these...the patients are neglected.

All by myself ...

Went for walk at MacRitchie this morning. Was there at almost 9am. Decided to walk the 10km route and since there are lots of people, I went the TreeTop Walk. Oh yes it was not fun having to walk alone. And I can't imagine how come I could do 5 rounds last yr. Come to think of it ... I must be Crazy! Don't know if I want to do it again this year.

Ran a bit to test my new NIKE shoe.. shiok! Next week will come again to run instead. Hope to start as early at 7 am so that i can finish before the sun is up.

Left MR at 11am.. go eat and home ... slept the whole afternoon. Didn't do anything much, infact didn't do anything at all. So damn lazy to do the laundry. Should be ironing my uniform right now, see what I'm doing now!

Better sleep... have to leave home at 6am. Finish work at 3pm... after that, don't know what to do... again...

Maybe, I'll sort the bio past year papers for my buddy. She has to retake the paper this Thursday. Intend to accompany her for remedial this Wednesday. Have to complete the case study this week.. *sigh* guessed i have jus planned my week. Doing nothing interesting..... can't wait for sch break. Hopefully, got things to do on that 2weeks of break fr 17th June to 3rd July..

me young-old

Yep.. I have just turned 34 yesterday but don't feel like one. Thanks to kev, who has been pampering me... i am enjoying it of cos...But why can't I behave like a thirty-something? Be like any other mature women who talk,walk and dress like a woman ,gentle and lady-like... be less childish and think maturely.. Even the 20-something may be more womanly and me...Whatmore, been married for almost 9yrs .. still behaves like... ahhh don't know how to describe.. whatever la... have to make a diff..

What a relief!

It's raining heavily.. shiok to go back to sleep but today is a happy day for me... most sent sms greetings a day in advance. So touched...They thought it was 24th. It's today...! Thank you!!

And I got another advance present, a NIKE trail shoe, Air Axis (men's). Were at SportsLink last Sunday. Kevin was browsing at the men's sports shoes. Had no intention to buy , just look-see, look-see..,wanted another trail shoe cos, my NB too tight, and my Reebok worned out. But he grumbled that I got too many already, and what i have can still tahan. But then, it was he who took the shoe out from the rack, it was too small for him so, I tried it on and it looked good on me, really... very good. So I thought, if it's the women's design sure lagi nicer!! So I tried that on too.. but the men's one lagi better sehhh, very comfortable, the women's too narrow and tight, even though it's 1 size bigger... Sooo, we see see, check check.. I test walk, jump, run on the men's shoe.. then, suddenly he said, buy la.... For me, advance b'day present! Eh..really, I asked. Another one after what he already got for me way in advance an O2.. I thought that was it already.. man! Yeah..!!!! Was jumping for joy in my heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Have somemore or not ah, sayang.. Must celebrate 7 days 7 nights leh.. it's our very own tradition, ok, start today! Aiyah.. if can.. me finish at 9pm, i tried to swop duty but they don't allow.. b'day not valid reason to give the Director for request to swop. :( That added to my gloomy day, yesterday.

Besides that, been feeling uneasy at heart. Worry about the exam results. Looking glum.. simply no mood for anything..the whole day from morning till Kevin came to join me and my good buddies, Isabel and Shiken, at Delifrance, Novena Sq for supper to celebrate my so-called happy day. A bit cheerful. My face can really tell if i am gloomy, sad or not me,they start to question. But when i am angry and pissed, they stay away..Must smile and be cheerful at all times eventhough I feel otherwise. Tough huh. Maybe what i can do is to display it here using "smiley"... :) :( :'( .... whatever!

This morning at 6:56am, Isabel smsed me to tell me Results out. There was an earlier sms at 5:34am I missed, another classmate smsed the same too. So excited.. I logged in to NYP.. Me only interested in Bio result. Oh please...need to pass, No supp paper please.... i was hoping an praying..

Phew! I managed to pull through. Waah.. this time really jumped for joy! Happy!!!Called Kevin first thing! Thank God. Thanks to my buddies for studying with me, thanks to Kevin for being so understanding. Thanks to all the lecturers and tutors.

Me Very Happy and I luv u too!!! :)

Star Wars Episode III

Went to watch Star Wars movie yesterday with Kev and friends. The movie started on the dot, we were late, as usual. Well actually we were there earlier than punctual, bought this and that, waited for this and that... cost time..

Of all the Star Wars movies.. i like this one the best! It's about my fav, Lord Vader!

When i was young, my younger brother and I had a collection of StarWars figurines and we used to fight for it. If he chose the good ones like Luke Skywalker, then I'd be Darth Vader.. must be of the opposite. Well of cos' no matter what, I played with Princess Leia.. others which was mine was: Chewbacca, Stormtrooper, Darth Vader, C3P0.. but whatever it was, my bro was on the good side and me, the bad one... simply because in the family, i was the active and rebellious one so .. i was with the dark side ..and my bro, he's the angel. We were totally opposite. But now that we are grown ups, we are ok.. same level..never fight, but active i still am, never change, this i know.

Big Walk 2005

Half hearted to go for this year's Big Walk because I had to walk alone. Kevin not going as he had to finish up with his assignments. Stayed up , on and off, to keep him company thoughout the night. Woke up at 6.15am and found him on the living room floor with his notes on his chest, sleeping. He must have fallen asleep while reading. Didn't want to wake him up, so I went back to bed, thinking whether to go for the Big Walk or not, alone? Took a while for me to decide... i didn't want to go back to sleep, but he's sleeping.. so i guessed he would be awake by noon.. or most likely i'd be home and he would still be sleeping.. ok set! I quickly got ready and went for it. Left at 645am, kevin woke up to shift to the bedroom, said goodbye and off i went...

Flag off at 7.30am. Arrived late at 7.50am. Weather was so hot and i did not apply sun block. Now I'm dark not tanned. I can never get tanned, I get dark .. brown not red and it's going to stay that way for a very long time. Shouldn't have worn my Solomon shoe. It kept slipping off. Saw the first few competitive walkers racing opposite the road. They walked like as if they were jogging.. low impact, with style.. gelek here and gelek there ..amazing! Must learn. But funny seh..

Ok,lah.. enjoyed the walk eventhough I did it alone this time round.. Every year, Kev and me, never failed to go.. we walked for fun one.. cut in somewhere half way.. cos we were always late. Past years, met some old friends, so I hoped today I would bump onto someone i know.. but don't have leh.. oh well, kinda get used to doing things alone these days.

Anyway, I finished at 9.20am.

Collected the goodie bag. The band entertainment was better than last year's but the games play last year was much better, i feel. Waited for the lucky draw.. then home. Like boring like that!

Last day at CCK Polyclinic

Last Friday was our last day at the polyclinic. These are the wonderful Sisters and CI who make us felt welcome. Next Monday, 3 of us will be at TTSH and Yanna at SGH.

Staff Nurse Monalisa just graduated, Midwife Jumiah.. she's so cute and seated is Staff Nurse Naj... the pretty one. They deal with wound dressing most of the time. I got to chance to open the sterile pack and pour the normal saline... but the rest, that is, cleaning of wound was done by them. Seen all types of wound... and the most unforgetable one was a diabetic patient whose bottom feet had a big wound, size of half of my palm. Red in colour and that's a good sign. He has to come everyday to the polyclinic to have it cleaned.If not treated or cared for, he may lose his feet. Diabetic patients must take care of their feet. Must put on proper foot wear to avoid injury and complications. I was told that there was a case of a patient whose been bitten by a mosquito on the feet and it started to bleed.. maybe it was so serious that the patient ended up with that part of the feet being amputated.

Our clinical instructor, Ms Aw.. thank you for everything.  

My Popo not well.

Just talked about hypertension or high blood... and Kev's grandma, Popo was hospitalised for that reason last Thursday. My sis-in-law told me that her systolic blood pressure (sBP) was 200 plus, which I thought it was a little bit too ridulous. But then, Popo is very old, abt 80 yrs old.. so it could be right. The older the person gets, the higher the bp gets.

For a healthy adult, it range fr sBP of 90-120 over diastolic blood pressure (dBP) of 60-80. Hypertension is present when we hit 140/90.

For Popo, an elderly, non-smoker and non-diabetic, 140/90 can be considered healthy. If she is diabetic, then it's best to keep around 120/80.

The thing abt high blood pressure is that the reading differs and varies at any time of the day. It varies with one's physical and emotional activities. So it all depends and at times, there's no symptoms, that why it is called : the silent killer.

Popo has been sick the week before she was hospitalised. We did visit her on Mother's Day. But Popo looked ok.. she didn't show any sign that she was sick. She was busy in the kitchen. She looked ok. That's another thing.. u can't tell when u gonna be hit with hypertension. It can come and go, and if it is not diagnosed early and get early treatment, it can lead to other complications,mainly stroke and heart attack.

She was transfered to the ICU on Friday morning for close monitoring. Visited her yesterday. Saw her sBP was 135, can't remember what the dBP was. Got to speak to the DR and said that her BP is good. Popo need to go for MRI to check on her bile duct and her aorta. It was found that her bile duct has dilated and her aorta has slight bleeding. Mum signed the consent form. Recalled that we didn't inform Popo about the MRI but since it was non-invasive so, I guess Popo wouldn't mind.

I think Popo hates all the IV lines on her wrists..and the hospital actually cuffed her wrist to the bedside cord, to limit her movements. She can't keep her hands still whenever she talks, so i guess they have to do that for her safety too.

She will be at normal ward today since her BP has improved. Hopes she gets better.

To read more on hypertension, visit Health Promotion Board

Another interesting website : Seniors Network

Silent Killer- Hypertension

Yesterday, I was attached to a singing nurse! She loves to sing.. chinese songs, and she actually asked me if i want to hear her sing.. well, missy.. i cannot say no right. She had her song book with her, believe me.. she can really sing. So she sang.. not one but 3 songs full version! Quite familiar songs, i was able to appreciate her sing. In my heart, it's like.. so this is what nurses do behind closed doors while the clients wait patiently for their number to be called! That explains!!!!

Then she went on telling me of her lifestory.. which actually scares me. I don't want to listen to any of it.. makes me feel so insecure.

Well, not all nurses are like her.

Yesterday was all abt compulsory immunizations for baby. It's called the National Childhood Immunisation Programme. The 2 compulsory immunisations against Diptheria and Measles. These 2 diseases are life threatening. Another immunisation includes against other diseases like Tuberculosis(TB), Mumps, Pertusis , Rubella, Hep B and Polio. Got all these jap throughtout of baby lifespan up to 12 yrs old.

Today, in Indonesia.. 1st outbreak of polio in decades. 4 children confirmed to have polio. Polio is a waterborne disease which usually infects young children by
attacking the nervous system. It causes paralysis and muscular
atrophy, and there is no cure.

This is how a child's limb be, if the child is not immunised against polio.

Attended a Hypertension workshop this morning. There's no cure for hypertension too. Only way is to control it.. Everyone is at risk actually... that's why it is also known as the "silent killer". Very important to watch our weight, diet, lifestyle- to make time to exercise, no stress.. but as we age and if any of our family members have high blood pressure, chances that we may have it too. What can be done is to take care of what we eat, avoid high fat food, reduce salt and sugar intake, try to exercise and reduce stress.

.. I better cut down drinking 3 in 1 coffee- has high sugar content, use less salt and light soya sauce in my dishes... and eat fruits and drink lots of water and go toilet to pee.... i hate going toilet ...

Missy and ....

That's Winston, Vivien and Isabel. We met up at Jurong Centre to share our day's happening... 

Have not started with any practicals or observation, I am already feeling so tired. Started at 8am .. kept looking at my watch ... the time didn't seem to move... i had enough sleep but yet me kept yawning.. really cannot tahan. Took a long break at the pantry to go through the weeks' schdule. Foooh! very tough. The Clinical Instructor, SN Ow kept stressing that nursing is not an easy job but if we have the passion for it, we can go far....  

SSC 25th Anniversary: Beethoven's 9th Symphony -6th May

Photo taking session.... after the concert. That's Michael, our lecturer. He's with the Singapore Symphony Chorus(SSC). You rock, man!!!

 

can't wait any longer....

Ok ... me now want to get over with tomorrow's paper so that i can do what i have not been doing: Run!

I should have more time in the next 4weeks' of clinical attachment. I need to train for any upcoming running events..the ultra again in Dec and most importantly, the Singapore Marathon. Should i do full or just half? Anywayz, training i must..badly but how? Alone? hmmm.. as for now.. yeah .. :(

for the past few days, i feel a bit lonely. feel so left out like that.. something missing.. hopefully things gets better... :(

oh me, now at woodlands library blogging this.. Curious or stupid or got nothing better to do.. so i just signed up.. & top up $10 for multimedia use. Maybe it will come in handy next time.. don't need to look for internet cafe.. quite cheap.

And ....Me have been getting so restless these days too..oh.. i need entertainment!!! lotz of it! i want now!!!

Now back to serious matters..

back to my bio.. so far, as of right now, let see what i have covered:
anatomy of the heart : yes!
function of blood : yes!
factors affecting respiration: yes yes!
maternal changes - reproductive system :oh yes!! The male and female reproductive system... oh yessssss!
Uterine and ovarian cycle : of course!
digestive system and all the gastric activities : nope

What else ah....

Together forever..

Can't wait for Friday... last paper ... so excited!

Don't think can do well for this yesterday's 5103 paper.. the paper was quite easy. Sure got a lot score distinction one. But not for me. How to score... me read the course book only.. did not study hard for it. Read so many times also like that... the same.. nothing seemed to register. The subject simply did not move me...no feeling ... it's about family, children, getting old and health care... the family and children part felt quite pressured. And living at old age... wonder who is going to take care of us... & how can we grow old gracefully and successfully?

We ever discussed this before...

When we get old, the young old ( age range 65 to 74), these are some of the silly things we'll most likely do:

1) going to the movies .. best! got concession .. $5 for senior citizen.. every day see movie!
2) play on line gaming (for kev) ... by then got no energy to talk too much..so, we'll communicate online too.. and this one accomplish already.. got our home network set up.. but then, hopefully no hand and eye problems at that age.
3) keep ourselves healthy and active still... go for walks.. theraputic walks...
4) wonder if i'll be running still at at 65... veteran seh.... by the way, next year my category will be veteran liao.. feel old already and out of shape!

what else ah..... oh .. must continue to walk hand in hand , hor sayang...

"together for ever and never to part,
together forever we do
u know i would move the heaven and earth
just to be together forever with u..." ( ...rick ashley)

Kevin took me out for movie...xXx with friends...

Went out with fox and mp, kev's colleagues... watch xXx(2) last night .. good movie. Wanted to go for Karaoke but mp was so tired, so maybe next time..
Thank you guys for a great nights' out.

It's been quite a while that me and kev walked down Orchard Road. We are always at the North area and hardly did the things we used to do.. maybe our timing wasn't right or maybe it's just me, always complaining of tired and no time.

Kev will be working this Labour Day and on Monday too. My study partners, Isabel, will be busy with sunday's church stuff and Shiken, prefers to stay home to study... and I foresee myself being alone.........

Anyhow Tikam MCQs

The mcq was difficult.. so much on drugs which i did not cover at all, so me anyhow tikam. The short ans question was easy but then again.. did not cover the topic well. Focused too much on GI- lect 40 to the end.. never come out! Alot on heart failure , drugs .. every thing except upper and lower GI. Never want to trust lecturers on their hints ever again! Hai... next to prepare another paper next Tuesday- Community Health, blah blah blah...

.. eyes puffy .. now me better sleep!

JP Morgan 2005

ha! did as bad as last yr. finished at 42mins. hAh!

As expected, it was crowded..but it was better than last yr in such a way that they so called like split the starting line, the fast runners went to the blue and the fun runners at the red route. I don't know whether there's any difference in the route.. anyway .. it was better planned than last year. And the same girl, Vivien is the champion!! She finished at 18 mins and the Gurkha guy at 20 or 21 min. Have not read the papers but this was what i heard when it was announced on stage. Cheers to them! And also, TLR finished at 22 or 25 mins, can't remember exactly.. and PHillip at 36mins. Excellent guys!!

I feel that i need to improve on my runnung, but i am not the hard core type and no discipline.. so why bother.. but i want to do it. I want to be better but i can never do it.. always the border line case. Not jus in running, .. in everything i do and in me, myself... sometimes i feel useless and most of the time, i worry. ( can't seemed to get that word "rejected" too... i'm getting that feeling,too).

I am sensitive towards others, i care less for myself.. but i can be selfish at times. I hate to be compared but I love to take up some challenges.. I adapt to changes very well but if anything or anyone dearest to me change.. it will take me a very long and difficult time to accept and adjust. I will need a lot, a lot and a whole lot of assurances... in short.. i need attention.

Right now, I should be worrying about tomorrow's exam.. and i hv not finished revising the remaing chapters. Blamed myself for poor planning.. Can't seemed to remember what was learnt..must be stupid or slow.. Afraid, I might not be able to complete the paper. It feels tough.. the subject is so heavy to digest just like the book! can't remember all the medical terms,in fact everything like don't know *sigh...* I can still remember that once I was full of zest even before the semester begins.. and now i am so weak and lost!

So sad... but ...Kevin is going to accompany me tonight.. while me study, he is going to watch his classic chinese fighting fighting vcds.. .. thank u..

Going for run after a very long break..

Going for the JP Morgan run later this afternoon at the Padang. There will be a huge turn out, like last year. About 6000 participants, and could not run properly at all. And it's not cheap. Kevin paid $25 for it and $10 for himself. As for the freebies.. can't remember but the T-shirt was of good quality compared to KLIM.

It was MP Morgan run which started me on running. I finished at 45mins, I think, for 5.6km.. the crowd made me run in zigzag manner, stopped a few to times.. infact it's more like walk a jog. Only at the last 400 meters or so, there was so much space.

Have not been running since the KLIM. Busy with school work and all ..
Exam starts this friday and still stuggling with Medical surgical... got tachycardia each time i open the book. breathless , palpitation, angina..

Take deep breaths... relax..

but how to relax when there are so much to cover!!! I have less than 1 day to complete
1) aCID BASE
2) fluid and electrolytes imbalances
3) blood disorders
4) Respiratory disorders
5) Cardiac disorders..
6
After the run later.. continue with these.. and continue till tmr.. means no sleep till tomorrow evening... will sleep early tmr night .. wake up at 6 plus on Friday morning, go school early .. last revision and finally sit for the paper at 9 am. "Fuuhyooh!! ..." :}

Will be meeting TLR and Phillip.. not sure abt David, later at the Padang. Kevin going for this class so, will not be running.. infact i don't want him to run cos he had not been running like since last year in December and his knee is not in good condition. I will miss him around though .. realised that.. never got to take part any competitive together, except for last year's JP, Safra Marathon and Big Walk.. ehhh! got what ..!!! what am i babbling abt? I just want him around that's all!!!

Can i run with my lecture notes, hmmmm.. ?

Now.. what's the problem??!!!!

We definitely cannot please everyone, huh. Even if there's a solution to it, there will still be some unsettled matter of the heart business sort of thing.. or in chinese they call it "sick heart" or something close to that.

Very glad that i had a good talk with KL two nights ago. Somehow i don't know how to interpret his character. He's a smart fellow but at times, very unpredictable. Sometimes we saw him hitting the walls with his fist, venting his anger i guess.. but at times, he suddenly jumped for joy... a little crazy but i thinks that ok.. a little bit of craziness is accepted.. jus like me .. hehehe.. anywayz...

I apologised to him for all the unhappiness i caused for the past 15weeks. Apologise for all the childish and stupid behaviour, if any, and let's just do our best in the next semester, if we are to return to our same subgroup. We knew our strength and weaknesses.. and had laid out some rules.. so as not to make the same mistakes. Basically it's all about respect and discipline. We cannot escape from problems, personality conflict and all.. till the day we step into the wards.. we are going to face even bigger challenges. Interpersonal communication skills play an important role then... must have michael's course book minimised to bring to the wards together with the clinical log book.

But what had happen to our class??? Have we not practice communication skill appropriately? The group reps met up to solve the sub-group issue.. so we reshuffled and a few not happy. And that few.. most probably 2 or 3 of them how object to the idea.. and insisted that it's the mentor's job to shuffle the group. But that wouldn't solve the prob cos not all want to split. arghhh really don't know what to do now...

I am going to let it rest... until the exams over by 6 May. Then after that, i'll be posted to Choa Chu Kang Polyclinic for 1 week and the rest of the 3 weeks will be at TTSH, ward 9B. After that, then got 2 weeks' break.

Trying to study at home.. but home is sooooo comfortable.... always sleepy mode.
Woke up this morning at 7, cooked fried rice for b/fast and study.. but at 9 dozing off.. so i got up, ironed some clothes.. settled down to study again... sleepy...
left the house to Civic Plaza library.. tahan for 2 hrs.. then came back home...fixed Kevin his brunch.. he said the nasi goreng nice.. yummy eh.. Blog till now. Rec'd sms from Isabel, she's at JE library.. maybe will join her later...

Kevin night shift from tdy till Tuesday nite.. Wednesday is the JP Morgan Corp Run..must run cos Kevin already paid $25 for that. Have not been running since the KL Marathon. Cialat.. don't know how man!

hai.. outside got dark clouds.. it's going to rain lor... ahhh .. the bed is calling !!!!!

better read up my 5105... Got to make Ms Low proud lor...!!!

IT'S GETTING CLEARER NOW..

I hate the feeling of having to pretend to hate or to like... i just want to be me. That's all!! Tried to be do good to help but did more harm instead, i feel. I ended up hurting so many people; and making others to feel and to sacrifice for us or should i say.. the affected ones. Would like to express my Thank you for their understanding and I honour their kind intentions.. Hopefully it works. It's definately gonna work cos it's the only way to solve. And the best arrangement we can come out with but of cos, we welcome opinions and objections and confrontations if there's any... Ohhh... please work.

I know I am crude at times.. which i just have to be that way .. to be bad at times, so as to make things better. But some could have interpreted it differently.. I am totally fine if one sees me as a hypocrite for that reason.. cos i know what i was doing, which i hate though... But i hope there's someone else out there understand as to why i was doing all that ,and what i was going through.... it's ok if they want to hate me.. really. I am fine... infact, i asked for it... in the first place.

Hope the discussion we had this afternoon will be accepted by all. So friends... if we are still friends.. tomorrow is the chance to speak up.. so do speak up!

Ok now.. back to serious business.. I have not started on my essay which is due today at 5pm. On top of that, the 2 e-lectures for 5103 , have not even touched as well. Signing off and ...


good luck,ct!

"are u ok,ct?"

No, i am not ok... so how can you help me,then?
Please la... don't ask for the sake of asking. Really not in the mood for any of these... how i wish u can jus F.o.A.d.
I am not becoming a good person from all this. Haven't I learn enough from working at SingTel... sigh... still the same.. got to stop!
In my entire life today.. I am pissed right before I have to go for my presentation... that was ok ... but i really had to express myself that i had to verbalised those @#$%## words.. and i had to move away for the rest of them just to listen no more to "whatever brilliant idea" others have.. I don't know why i was so affected by it.. maybe i felt for them.. ah what ever la...
AS predicted.. it's not getting any better...

Someone is trying to be nice,eh... and i hate that.. pls la..there's no need to be nice when harm was already done. No more turning back. u are what u are and so be it. You can stop pretending or maybe u can continue the way you have always been.. no diff to me cos u are nothing!!! H.P.O.S!!!! sorry ah... i say what i like to say here... at least i am truthful and sincere.. unlike u... I should have said and confessed on that evening ... but i decided to save ur face... come to think of it... ceh... should have done it.

And another thing!!! Who am i to comment or give advise? I don't know that much... and certainly not close to u... Go ask someone who can't survive without u.. the person knows u better than me.. !!! come on la... how many times must i say... we are all adults... need me to tell meh.. go do u own soul searching... and tell me instead hahahahhaa!!!! how abt that ?!!!

" "

Eh... i thought kevin off my laptop last night before we went to bed... but this morning ,this program still running when i switched it on.. i might have fell asleep after talking to Shiken and my laptop went into sleep mode too... hmmm, another thing was that.. i had a hard time deciding on the title for last night event. Let see what i had in mind:
1- I've been betrayed!
2- Now I feel rejected!
3- Disappointed!
4- It doesn't pay to be nice...
5- I felt for him and, hey... i am sorry
6- Betrayal!!!!!!.
7- Who betray who?
8- U can all hate me, I don't care!
9- Stop acting... la!!!!
10- So what the problem eh?
11- It's not getting any better.
12- Has the tribe spoken?
13- What's up in their mind, i wonder but i knew it!
14- Productivity vs Personality Conflict
15- Let's continue to avoid.
16- The tribe has spoken....

hai ... forget it... it was all said and done. Have to make the best for what is left in the next semester. It's not a fair deal though... A is on his own and what more can he say towards B.. and so be it.. And the "friends4ever" had spoke their mind too.. In the end.. what's left for me to say...? I was so frustrated with the whole issue but what to do. Fifteen weeks gone by and we're still in state of denial. I was shocked with their "sincerity". Yes, I am tired.. i wanted to give up to care for them long time ago... and think for myself for once... but i thought i could improve the situation so I tried, shouldn't have done so in the 1st place, my fault i think... but after yesterday... it has all gone to waste.

Reflection??

Still can't get over it!!! Let's be selfish... but then it's not my style...

From day 1, infact i even blogged abt this stuff and i was so damn well prepared for it . i have learnt to manage my expectations and to work tog in a diplomatic way... but at times, i had no choice but to show my temper ... frustrations ..anger . i believe anyone who is close to me, can see it as if it's written on my forehead! I am human too... yes i always carry that smile and joyful look... but if i were to put on a different mask- angry, crazy or sad ... all started to question me.... Now tell me... how to hide my feelings... cannot always act happy and lively (and sweet... nah... too old for that) ..,, and i can't possibly be the one always giving in (which i don't mine and better give in to solve the problem, settle it and be done with it... & move on!!!) ... no wonder i breakdown easily ... now all know that i am not as tough as i look.

"sOmEoNE out there... pls have some initiative!!!! oops... forgotten.. maybe that "having initiatives" may not be in that person's style... Why can't all just speak up and make things easy for all. After all, we are only left with like one and half yr to go..". aiyah.. easy said then done... me can't voice it up too ... *sigh susah.... just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... let Me bleed then... it's ok... i'm used to it... had always been at the frontline... no prob.. nothing is wrost than a nasty **** customer!

But i am thankful to have a bunch of wonderful friends.. Shiken, Isabel, x-tina and those that comfort me when i'm down. Caring and sensitive pple... playful yet serious... and i have Jae to scream and yell to !!!!

i have to go school now...


signing out!

ARghhhhhhh !!!!

"i want out!!"...

from our lives' beginning on

We are pusjhed in little forms

no one asks us how we like to be

In school they teach you what to think

But everyone says different things

But they 're all convinced that

They're the ones to see

So they keep telking and they never stop

And at a certain point you give it up

So the only thing that's left to is think is this..

I want out - to live my life alone

I want out - let me be

I want out - to do things on my own

I want out- to live my life and be free

People tell me A and B

They tell me how tI have to see

So they push me then from side to side

They are pushing me from black to white

They'r pushing till there's nothing more to hear

But don't push me to the maximum

Shut ur mouth and take it home

cause i decide the way things gonna be

There are million ways to see the things in life

A million ways to be the fool

In the end of it, none of us is right

Sometimes we need to be alone.

~ halloween, Keeper of the Seven Keys: I want out.~

What a relieve .. Thank God...

Alhamdullillah..... Thank God... I passed the Bio prac test .. got a 'C' and therefore passed my overall. But still must bear in mind, Siti that you have to clear the Semester paper in May. Yeah... just have to keep on studying .. consistently, but where got time ah...

Got the Bio results yesterday and I was so relieved that i had to cry.. very emotional huh... must thank Dr Poh for the extra class. So touched! So nice of him to spare his precious time.. nanyang got voting system or not ah? Must vote him for the best tutor for the year!!! I don't really like the idea of having different tutor for a particular subject. He teaches well and so very clear. Everyone in class wants him to be our permanent prac tutor... But, we also don't mine Ms Teresa, the pharmacist lady, who said she's a malaysian but.. she looks more like a korean, an elegent tai tai! I like her too, very cute.. but then, Dr Poh is still the best!! I want DR POH and so does everyone!

Hah!!! "Stress ah.. how ah!!! " Yeah... u just added another stress ... why must u leave??? Tell me...that it's another German joke of urs!! Who will be taking us?? Oh ...now I regret for not participating actively and doing well for his subject... It must be US lah... like usual.. never come prepare for his tut and skills classes.. sometimes can see that he's frustrated with us.. and maybe that could be the reason he's leaving... hai... sorry la..

Wishing him all the best at Ngee Ann... & he will be MISSED..........

Thank U, Michael. You are one of our favourites too.... Must say... bribery! This friday my skill test....Ahem ahem...


This morning 5108 paper was ok. The begining part, as usual, tricky.. didn't really study much last night, just revising the tut questions and work book.. (while kevin kept playing that old 1980s'chinese song over & over again... which till now still etched in my mind) ... Michael marked it and results were given this afternoon.... I passed 5108! Infact, i improved ... got B. Very happy. And i could hear Kok Leong clapping for me.. Thank u .. got no chance to say that to him. As for him, the underdog.. got A+ ( i think) and Sis Peggy got almost a perfect score!! How they do it ah... ?

What's next? Skills prac test and 5105 presentation this Friday.
MOnday.. Patient Education Presentation and followed then ,
Sociolgy Theory test on Tuesday.

So damn busy... and yes.. forgot to mentioned here ...
i am not the only one busy... my sayang is busy with his too....

You are better than BEST!


Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so many things to do so little time!!!!!!!!

take note: lately... got migraine.

Stress....Week 15 and counting down

Right now, I am sitting at one corner in the library... thinking why are there so much assignments to do and presentations to prepare. In 2 weeks' time, it's exam week and after that 6weeks' of attachments to hospital/clinic or where-ever... and yes..attachments will be graded too. Then, follwed with a miserable 2 weeks break before it all started again....If i pull through this semester with all 'C's or even 'D's, i'll jump for joy!

So far.. there's not much studying done, jus completing assignments and presentations.. complete , throw them aside and move on to the next....time mgmt is very important here... and i am so bad at it. 5102 assignment had to cut marks for handing it 1 day later. Lesson to learn... don't do things last minute..

So here i am in the library, trying to squeeze my brains out to write my lesson plan and prepare my 10min speech relating to Health education : Asthma. It's a 10 mins speech... should i talk abt the anatomy of the respiratory system..? Are my audience ready to here those "chim" words.. and most likely, they may know more than i do.. so how ah... how to draw attention and make it interesting since most of them knows what asthma is... should i tell them my very own experience... how i feel living with asthma and how very little underestand others have about asthma... it's just coughing and the phelgm causes breathlessness, take the inhaler ... breathe and everything will be ok.. yeah right .. .. But what most don't understand is the way we feel when an attack occurs, especially when there's no sign of it coming... it feels like dying ... eh! maybe i can start with " Asthma kills!!!!" and ha! this will make my audience open their eyes and ears, big big...